Beware of Team Pi

The Race Day Blog

 A complete profile of team Pi.

 

Josh

Code Name: Irish Blaze

Special Skills: Irish Blaze is a man of all men. His countless leadership skills includes; chugging 3 quarts of tabasco sauce with each meal, playing a B minor perfectly both on an acoustic guitar and an electric guitar, and his deep appreciation for the art of belt buckle making. His contributes his inspiration to his loving parents, his dog Wyatt and Leonardo the Teenage Mutant Nina Turtle.

The Weapon: The Red IPod. One may think his ear phones are simply humming some of his favorite tunes including Jimmy Buffet and the Polka Key. However, appearances are deceiving. In reality these innocent earphones are Irish Blaze’s most powerful weapon. In 1.9 seconds they transform to the greatest lasso the West has ever seen. Thus, giving him the ability to wrangle any unsuspecting opposition in less than 0.005297 seconds.

Personal Interests : Includes teaching water aerobics to senior citizens, gardening and a slightly weird obsession with the OC.

 

Code Name:  The Shot Caller

Special Skills: The Shot Caller has strength unparalleled by any previous Racer with Rocco and Scarchelli bulging from his arms. (But ladies he’s taken, so back off). His most impressive power includes the ability to blow fire balls with his nostrils. He has spent the last 3.14 years composing a a song, sung at such a high pitch it can be heard only by dogs and children under the age of seven. If heard by an adult, cat or child over the age of seven, it has a striking resemblance to Will Smith’s Billboards classic “Here come the Men in Black.” When this melody graciously leaves Shot Caller’s lips, children are summoned from the farthest reaches of earth. Thus, giving team Pi access to a secret knowledge known only by the youth of the nations. Unlike Josh he attributes his inspiration to the classic series the Baby Sitters Club.

The Weapon: The Verdes- Azules Eyes. These dashing blue-green eyes hypnotize enemy’s instantly into a state of submission. Once using this great weapon he then turns to his personal bottle of hand sanitizer, which has a two fold purpose. The hand sanitizer can immobilize opposition for up to three days, one hour and four minutes, thus giving team Pi a substantial lead over other competitors. And secondly, the hand sanitizer makes Shot Caller’s GI system immune to any illness allowing him to part take graciously in meals with local friends.

Personal Interests : Jade….enough said.

 

Pamela

Code Name: P1 (abrev-d as P)

Special Skills: The Navigator Extraodinaire. P1 has spent the last two decades studying topographical maps of each region in the World in preparation of Race Day. In her studies she has taken a special interest in the tundra of north east Egypt and the fault lines of Topeka Kansas. She has a vast understanding of the doldrums of the South Pacific, and often chooses to vacation in the Arctic sipping hot coco under the dancing sky of the borealis affect. Furthermore, she has a unique ability to abbreviate any English word including words such as “the” “a” “of” and “super-calcfraglisticexpealadious.”

The Weapon: The Sun Glasses. These upside down sunglasses giver her spider like night vision.  As a result weapons allows team Pi to travel through long nights and into the early morning hours without any breaks.

Personal Interests : P1 enjoys shopping on Rodeo Drive wearing pink cowboy boots and blue jean mini skirts.

 

Code Name:  Eddie-a

Special Skills:  Lindquist the Linguist. Dre is fluent in 29.3 different languages including Swahili, Afrikaans, Farsi, and Spanish. She is proficient in the ancient Scottish folklore of gibberish-o. Her stealth intuition gives her a telepathic ability to communicate with giraffes, dingos and duck billed platypus. If it is a full moon out, she is even able to speak to howler monkeys. For all other situations, she relies on her ability of interpretive dance.

The Weapon: Eddie-a’s complete collection of prehistoric earrings have a satellite ability to communicate with both the Russian, American and Jupiterian space stations. 

Personal Interests :  Running from the law.

 

Code Name: The Mona Lisa

Special Skills: When meeting Mona, one could easily assume her laid back hippie attitude toward life would hinder team Pi’s victory. Yet in reality her extreme attention to details and over indulgent time spent photographing buildings is central to the stra-te-gery of team Pi. Her camera lens holds a top secret chip, which purposes cannot be reviled at this time and which working is known by the government’s elite of elites.

The Weapon: The deadly dreadlocks. These two year old dreads are team Pi re-con weapon. The tips of each dread-lock hold a snake venom obtained only by the Pythons of Thailand and Asheville, North Carolina. When deployed competitors are hit and instantly turn to stone.

Personal Interests : Research of Polynesian body art and touching her tongue to her nose ( which at this time it is vital to note that P1 is not able to do)

 

Code Name: Shakira

Special Skills: Upon meeting Ashley one could be is easily lead astray by her sweet smile. Yet in actuality Ashley has spent the last five years under the personal training of Chuck Norris in preparation for Race day. And thus in her rigorous training has developed physical skills, which make her a probable favor in a boxing ring with the Incredible Hulk.   She has a fierce ability to run 39 miles in 61 minutes all while carrying the packs of teams Pi.   Her agility is like that of a gazelle. She holds a current World Record for swimming six miles and three kilometers without taking a single breath.

The Weapon: The invisible Fedora. (Pictured above) She thanks both loving friends and after Halloween clearance sales for contributing to a stupid hat collection that could sink a small boat. Her full sized stuffed animal Florida Gators hat (given to her by a later roommate) takes the title, among the hats, for the most wear time per year. However, the Invisible Fedora is by far the most power asset to her hat collection. Among team Pi’s weapons the invisible Fedora is the most feared among enemies. Team BOLD will cringe at the mere mention of this powerful hat. This hat gives her the ability to become invisible when worn (Just like Harry Potter’s magical cloak). Thus allowing easy access into enemy meetings and bringing to team Pi an advantage that always allows them to remain just one step ahead of the opposition.

Personal Interests : Sampling dark chocolate (70-85%, these percentages have been confirmed by her blonde Skjordalian friend). She also enjoys interior designs for small condos and teepees ( but not for the Florida State Seminoles)

In conclusion G-Racers, Kiateria, 5 Alive and J.O.Y. Beware. We are armed and ready come Race Day. (As for team BOLD, make sure you’re eight pounds of vitamins are securely locked come Monday night!)