In my life, one of the largest struggles I've encountered is self indulgence with food. Many people don't believe me until they live with me because I'm 5'6 and 130 pounds and ever since I can remember, was blessed with a very high metabolism. I'm constantly eating when I'm full and my meal portions are more than enough to fill me. I have struggled with hating my body, I don't like being as thin as I am, always trying to gain weight to get a stronger appeal with more muscle. The way this habit has ruled my life bothers me and sometimes, it can own my actions and thoughts, and I never realized how bad it was until I started mission work.
From the way I previously lived my life, I felt convicted that the way I leave my life around food is something I need to change. Before launch, I heard God telling me this year would involve a lot of fasting and obedience, which is not a walk in the park. After shortly arriving in El Salvador, Dura and I felt called to a Daniel Fast. This fast has challenged me in more ways than you can imagine and thank God he wasn't calling me to do it all on my own! I've never felt so close but so far away from God. Some of the ugliest qualities in my heart and painful scars from my past are coming to the surface. I am constantly interceding and praying for family members, friends, and people I hardly know that God puts in my head and lays on my heart. My patience and love is being tested everyday when I'm on the edge of a heat stroke, children yelling, living in community, and all I want to do is shove cake in my mouth, and swallow with a big gulp of milk!! At the end of the day I feel like I've ran 12 miles.
In ministry I feel God has been walking beside me, telling me exactly who to talk to, what to say, what to pray, even for tiny children that are not old enough to tell me whats wrong or what hurts, but God knows. I love growing spiritually from general simple prayers to powerful intimacy and radical obedience with Him and Him using me to touch people to bring someone to tears.
Thats one of my favorite parts about the Spirit, one word God speaks through our mouths can break chains and bust open freedom! WOW WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING!! I feel so honored. When I feel like I'm about to pass out from being physically or spiritually weak, I feel like a beautiful daughter of the king dressed in white dancing in heavenly places with authority!
Thats the problem with always being content. I find myself not needing God a lot of the time because I'm unaware or distracted from actual need. I was thinking the other day how much time I've wasted when God was trying to show me things or speak to me but I wasn't listening, or couldn't hear because my thoughts and priorities were in other places, even in my belly! Now I understand why we need to treat out bodies like a holy temple, this is war and I'm done skipping around on the sidelines when He has called me to the front line to march! He isn't saying "ANDREA! STOP DOING THIS SO MUCH!"
He whispers, "Andrea, look at who you are, look how great I made you, you don't have to eat this way anymore." And I think….DUH! I'm free! I don't have to eat you, haha I have something better! I'M FFFRRREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! I am beautiful! and hey I could do more push ups at the end of the day, but I no longer have to live with it taunting me in my head. Andrea your too skinny, not good enough, not strong enough, your WEAK!
LIE LIE LIE! God is so good 🙂 So if something has a strong hold on you in your life, anything from drugs, lust, revenge, hatred of yourself or your life. Go to the Lord, let him renew your mind. Let him remind you who He called you to be and your purpose. Life is too short and I'm done wasting time when I could be walking with others in heavenly places, when I could be laughing on the ground instead of battling my mind about pointless pitter patter – it takes too much energy!
Romans 12 : "Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to god, and do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
1Corinthians 6:19 "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the holy spirit who is in you, whom you have from god, and you are not your own? for you were bought with a price; therefore glorify god in your spirit, which are god's."
Luke 12:22 "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about your the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing."
