This last month in Myanmar (Burma) my team was given a small pickup truck to ride around in for the month. The cab was too small for eight people to fit in, so 4-5 of us usually ended up in the bed. Here are some tips we learned.
Tip #1: Do not apply chapstick prior to riding. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all about keeping them lips lusciously hydrated and crack free, but if you put chapstick on before the ride everything is going to stick to your lips: dust, bugs, hair… which leads me to my second tip.
Tip #2: Restrain your lush locks. You don’t want them whipping in your face (neither does your neighbor when you really get packed in tight) and getting hella tangled. I suggest keeping a hair tie or a hood on hand to prevent madness from occurring.
Tip #3: Hold on. TIGHT (Especially if Chad Borg is driving). Driving in other countries in not like it is in the States. People ignore lane lines, and drive into oncoming traffic. There are unexpected bumps and stops. If you don’t hold onto something, you will probably end up with your face smashed against the back windshield in a rather unattractive manner (not that I know this from experience or anything….)
Tip #4: Keep your limbs and extremities inside the vehicle, else you may loose them. Again, people drive crazy, and come super close. Guard yourself or else you’ll be cruising for a bruising.
Tip #5: Keep your mouth closed. If you don’t, you’ll be adding some extra protein to your diet that consist of bugs. You also may pull and Yzma from the Emperor’s New Groove, but rather than spinach in your teeth, it will be bug legs. Nobody wants to see that, so (and I say this with great affection, but quite seriously) keep your yapper shut.
Tip #6: Bladder control. If you even maybe have to go to the restroom before you hop in the truck, do it. Because you never know how long traffic will make it take to arrive at the destination, if the destination will even have a bathroom, and you’ll likely hit bumps in the road that will jar your bladder in unpleasant ways. Unless you want people to think you are incontinent, pee before.
