Things, have been crazy here in Indonesia and God is moving! It has been awesome to see and participate in! My team was blessed to have the opportunity to attend the IRIS conference in Jakarta this last weekend. A couple things happened that I feel led to share with you. Despite this being so far out of my comfort zone, I believe that the Lord is compelling and asking me to share. So, here we go.
First, the last couple months have been a continual process of God softening my heart and increasing my compassion and empathy. He has mostly been doing this through revealing to me the depths of my depravity, so that I can see how far his grace and love extend, and what he has brought me out of. God told me that though this has been painful at times, he is pruning me and preparing me to be able to express and share this revelation with other people. He also asked me to begin to faithfully pray for the anointing of the Holy Spirit, because he is going to use my deep empathy and compassion as a tool through which many people will receive healing. I am to pray daily that the spiritual gifts would manifest and be activated in me.
On Thursday, the first day of the conference, I spoke in tongues for the first time. During worship I felt compelled to step out in courage and try, but doubt crowded it’s ugly way in. Jesus quietly reminded me that I have power over my thoughts and authority over the voices that speak into my head (this was drilled into us at Training Camp). Once I had reclaimed my heart and my head, the gift was activated in me and I spoke in tongues. It was weird and felt kinda silly, but it was also incredible and instilled in my a new sense of peace and joy. Also on Thursday, one of the speakers, Will Hart, spoke a word to me during an alter call that was pretty dang cool. He said the the Lord is ahead of me paving a way for ministry. Two angles are walking with swords, and as I face opposition, as long as I abide in the Lord, they will cut it away. He claimed that the Lord is doing powerful things in me and through me… woah.
Friday was heart day for me. As I briefly mentioned earlier, God has been revealing to me how deprived I actually am and the ways in which my spirit heart is sick and broken still. But God has been, and continues to work in my heart. Friday’s morning session basically lead to the Lord telling me today was the day that healing would ignite. Josie (a teammate) had a prophetic word for me- that God was massaging my heart gently, firmly, and tenderly in his hands, making it tender and well. Then, a random lady next to me told me that God was piecing my heart back together with his own hands. That this new heart would beat for people, and that the Lord is healing me to then heal others. As I sat there basically sobbing, Heidi Baker got up and told a story.
There was a woman at one of her meetings many years ago who got up and was walking out in the middle of her message. The Lord compelled Heidi to run after her, though she normally would just let them leave. When she grabbed the woman, she yelled “The Lord gives you a new heart!” and the lady was slain in spirit. A year later, Heidi returned to the area and was walking down a hallway when she saw a lady running wildly towards her waving xrays. Come to find out that this woman had six weeks to live because UNOS could not find her a heart even after ears of being on the list. First, Heidi’s prayer had healed her physically. But what is cooler is it also provided emotional and spiritual healing in the woman. She also told Heidi that though she only has six weeks left to live, she was still divorcing her husband because she held so much hatred and un-forgiveness in her heart towards him. When Heidi commanded that her heart be new, the spirit came upon her and removed those feelings from her. For closures sake on the story I will tell you that she and her husband are now happily married and in full-time ministry.
As Heidi told this story, the Lord brought two people in my heart that I still harbor some un-forgiveness towards. These people I thought I forgave ages ago. Then at training camp, I realized I have another layer to peel back, and now again God has exposed another. In the last couple days the Lord has worked again and I am able to say with confidence that I no longer empower the message of these wounds, and at least this most recent layer has been redeemed and healed- PRAISE.
I believe that both of these days prepared my heart for Saturday. In my opinion, this was the best day. It started with a message from Will Hart. If I am being totally honest, I don’t really remember what he said, because the entire message the Lord was stirring in me, telling me to invite in the Holy Spirit. Moreover, his words were eclipsed by something entirely more powerful. Before the alter call even began, my skin was felt like it was being pricked by needles. Then, Will called on the Holy Spirit to come and descend. I could have sworn my skin began to ripple from the feel of it, but when I looked down it was still. He called those who had been touched by the spirit to come down. I began to shake and speak in tongues. So there I was: at the alter, literally praying with my breath that the Holy Spirit would come on me. I was startled momentarily by two hands grabbing my face and a forehead bending down to mine. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but Heidi imparted on me the Spirit and the anointment of healing. I was instantly slain in the spirit. I could not move even my pinky finger, and I was overcome by stillness and fire at the same time. I have no idea how long I lay there, but I remember that Heidi came back, pressed on my stomach and said something long the lines of “MORE JESUS MORE. There is enough. There is always enough, because you love her and you died for here.” I began sobbing and convulsing while she was doing this, then I was slain once more. This second time around I felt a flood of the Holy Spirit, peace, compassion, compulsion to share, joy, confidence, authority and hunger. There were some other feelings in there that I have not identified yet as well. It was an incredible experience.
When I was able to sit up, however, the devil began attacking. “Come on Andrea. You don’t really believe that the Spirit would descend on you of all people? You are broken. A sinner. You have much to be ashamed of. God would never use you. Get real- the dead are dead- you will never have the power to raise them.” It went on and on and on. In the past I may have believed these lies, but this time I recognized that this was not the voice of the Lord at all.
I began to pray against these thoughts and pray for sealing in what the Lord had done in me. I prayed against the temptations of flesh and thought. I [prayed for clarity of mind to remember that I was a child of God, not an orphan, and I was anointed. I had the Spirit in me and because of the power the Lord gas given me- power to heal, speak in tongues, power over the evil one and power to be free. All these things were true prior to Heidi laying her hands on me, but I recognized it now with greater clarity in peace after her anointing. As I was sitting there in a spiritual battle with the Lord, I realized I had to pee real bad (TMI? sorry.) But as I got up to go, In a voice clearer than anything I had ever heard before, the Lord said, “WAIT. Do not move yet, not until I have won this battle for you.” So I sat. Not two minutes later, the Lord sent a woman over who prayed the very prayer my heart had been crying out- that the Lord seal in me the work he did, and that the Devil would BACK OFF because the Lord has claimed me as his.
It’s been about a week since the anointing, but I honestly am a different person, though I have never been more confident in my Identity. One of my teammates was saying that she can see the peace and joy and the difference in my face. I feel GOOD. I feel as though I am walking in more authority, with more confidence, and with more faith. That does not seem like a terrible place to be as we begin this race 🙂 As I process this more, I will continue to share. But, this is just a glimpse of what has been happening in INDO.
Shalom.
