i really can't think of a sweet intro to this blog so i'm going to get right to it! 🙂
before we can grow, we must die.
we must enter into the fire.
something must be refined.
something must die.
winter is necessary for spring.
winter precedes spring, every time.
believe it or not, i'm no scientist so i don't know the in's and out's of why the trees & plants & grass have to die.
however, i know that God purposed it to be that way. & that's enough for me.
the crazy thing is that this natural season is running parallel to my spiritual experience right now.
let me explain.
in winter, things die.
trees die. plants die.
it's cold, dark & for the most part, undesirable.
however, it's a good thing.
it's necessary.
right now, i am a tree.
you know, one of those beautifully serene, dead trees, silhouetted by the glistening snow…yeah. one of those.
i feel as if all of my leaves have fallen to the ground, blown away by the wind, buried in the snow, leaving my branches bare.
there's nothing left to hide behind.
no leaves. no fruit. no show.
just me.
exposed.
vulnerable.
God needs me to be bare-branched, before Him with nothing left uncovered.
right now, i'm in the wintery season of life.
i have been exposed, brought to light.
the parts of me i thought were well hidden by excuses & shadows are now out in the open, to be pointed out.
things about myself that make me cringe, that i am ashamed of.
so much of this hurts.
God is pressing on me, parts of me that can use some new life, branches that can be broken off.
for most of my short life, i would run as far and as fast as i could from this.
it terrified me to see myself in a deeper way.
i felt paralyzed by the depths of my own depravity.
before when God would point out a place in my life that needed some attention, i would immediately let it get to me.
the lies would grow right then & there, that nothing would ever change, that i am nothing, incapable, a failure, etc.
i would be in a perpetual state of unmoving, unyielding selfishness because i would allow the lies to consume me.
there is a difference now.
i know what is true. i know i am washed clean & walk in freedom by the blood of Jesus Christ.
i know, even in this season, God is faithful & good.
i hold onto these truths. i speak boldly His promises.
He sees me, scraggly branches & all, & loves me the same.
He relentlessly pursues my often ignorant & arrogant mess.
He knows my heart, because He knitted it together.
He treats it with the utmost care & affection.
He is also prepping me for new life, greater life.
when springtimes hits, trees grow & flourish even more than the previous year.
PRAISE THE LORD.
the way i see it, God is preparing my branches, soil, heart, mind for new life. MORE life.
His life.
so i am going to choose to continue on even though winter is freezing & seemingly unbearable at times.
He works it out.
He gets the glory.
always. forever. amen.
God, i'm ready for the spring,
but even in winter, i will wait upon you.
