One month.
In one month I will be in Georgia for the final days of preparation before all I know as familiar is thrown to the wayside.
One month.
One more month of being in the United States doing what has become such a normal day to day life.
One month.
One month and I will have celebrated Christmas, New Years, saying goodbyes to my Redding community.
One month.
Over thanksgiving break, I got to spend time in Washington with people there I call family.
I have been realizing how intentional and purposeful I need to be.
When I was in Washington, visiting the place I called home for 7 years, I couldn’t wait for the invites, I had to say, “What’s your week like? Can we get together while I’m here?”
I am thankful for the time I got to spend with people I love.
I’ve got to keep that same perspective. I am here in Redding only 3 more weeks. Whoa.
What I find astounding, I have been here just over a year, and I will be sad to leave the friends I have made here.
I have met so many people here, and I have stepped out of my comfort zone. I have found a place I feel I belong. I have become more myself this year, I think Jesus designed me to thrive in adventure. He created me to grow where there are factors of unknown and unfamiliar.
This is reassuring, because nearly everything next year will be unknown and unfamiliar to me. Haha!
Do I have moments of freak out, worry, anxiety, wondering if I am actually going to survive and like it? Oh absolutely! Just last night, I was talking with Jesus about some things that needed to be set straight in my mind. I was believing lies and asked Holy Spirit to point them out & set my mind back into truth.
After a lie was uncovered, truth was spoken.
I am not feeling prepared.
Don’t depend on your feelings. I am preparing you in this season, whether you feel it or not.
I am not doing a good enough job preparing myself.
Good enough compared to someone else on your team? You are exactly where you need to be in this season. I am preparing you.
I am a failure because I am not praying.
You are not a failure. There is not one single way to pray and for me to hear you. You communicate with me in various ways. Don’t disqualify yourself because you don’t pray for hours at a time.
I am too busy to read & spend time with Papa.
You are busy, yes, from 8-5. But there are many hours outside that. Intentional. Be intentional.
I’m not doing enough.
You are enough. Ask me to provide. Be. It’s not about your doing – it’s about clearing the way for me.
What I have to share isn’t vulnerable enough or powerful enough, etc…
You share from the heart. You don’t share the same things and words because you share what’s on your heat and that’s enough.
I’m not ready for this.
You were born for this.
I created you for this.
This is who you are.
You are my daughter.
Bright. Radiant. Brave.
Adventurous. Amazing.
He didn’t stop sharing truth there. I have a choice in every truth/lie intersection. I can choose worry or trust. Anxiety or expectation. Stress or hope. Joy or fear.
Honestly, I have had some moments of freak out. But that’s normal and expected, right? I am about to abandon all that I know as familiar and comfortable. I will be living out of a backpack. I will be sleeping on the ground. I will be far from the comforts I enjoy every day.
Yet the unknown and unfamiliar have brought such joy, memories and growth, over this past year even.
There’s something about going into the unknown. It’s scary. I have no idea what I could encounter. I don’t know if I will love it or hate it. I don’t know if I will make friends. I don’t know if I will be lonely. I don’t know if I will struggle a lot before I thrive.
Yet I still search for the unknown. I love the mystery. I love the adventure. I discover new things and places through the struggle, ease, enjoyment and loneliness.
Life is not without struggle, so why avoid it? Why not jump into the adventure and discover the vastness of it all and the smallness of me.
