Over the past couple days, I have been thinking about my world and the world far across the ocean & land. Particularly in Syria & those fleeing their homeland.
Our worlds are so strikingly opposite.

I saw a video this morning of a terrible attack that happened in Turkey just as I was sleeping. Two bombs went off in masses of people. Two bombs in the midst of a peace rally. The clip was about 10 seconds in duration. The clip of the blast at the end is so abrupt. It shook me & broke my false perception of violence.

It got me thinking of how we view violence in the States. We see violence in movies & tv shows, and most of the time we don’t see the effects of the violence on the innocent bystanders. Take the Bourne movies- each has at least one car chase scene, and they leave a path of destruction along the way. The path of destruction is not the focus of the scene- the protagonist & antagonist are. But the consequences of their violent path is not addressed. As if it’s acceptable for them to leave such a mess behind.
Is this how Americans view wars and terrorist attacks abroad?
Are we so consumed and stuck in our false perceptions that we don’t humanize the individuals harmed & injured?

I find myself in a place of wondering why I have it so easy here, meanwhile hundreds of thousands of others on the other side of the world are fearing their livelihood every day. Children are not living carefree lives! They are experiencing loss of family & friends and war like most of us have not and never will experience.

I will encounter people who have had to deal with loss & tragedy next year. I have not had a difficult life. I have not had tragedy strike my family or corner of the country. I’m left wondering how I can even connect to these people. How do I relate? My struggles are nothing in comparison. I feel inadequate to bring who Jesus is to them. Because I have not experienced Jesus in deep pain & loss & suffering. He is the same Jesus, but my experiences are so different from theirs.

So I am left in this place of “I have nothing to complain about. My issues are so minuscule.” But I feel I am wandering in this dream life because so many other people are struggling. I feel my life is needing a major shaking. And I’m not prepared for the shaking that will come. I know it will come the moment I step off the tarmac of the first airport and onto the dirt of a foreign land.

The moment I meet a child, my heart will be won over.
The moment I hear a story of loss, my heart will break.

The moment we have to leave for a different country, my heart will ache.

I am slightly aware of what will happen in me, but mostly unaware. I am slightly prepared for this next year, but mostly unprepared.

All this to say, my world-the world inside my brain-is about to be radically shaken, broken, redefined, messed up & put together the right way. By Papa’s hands.