Month one debrief.
I find myself sitting here on this Sunday the 7th of February in the year 2016.
Day 28 has been a day of rest.
This day I woke up a little grumpy. I stayed in bed a few more minutes because this day would not be a day of grumbling. I slept in, so I should (naturally) be happier, right? Sometimes I think after I rest longer, I will automatically or magically have joy right beside me. Joy is there, but regardless of what I feel when I awake, it’s still a choice.
I’m happy to report that I chose joy this morning. It just took a little longer for me to see the reasons to choose joy.
The past few days have been significant. Yesterday I was baptized! Two of my squadmates and felt that we were to make a public declaration of associating with Christ’s death and resurrection. We joyfully and excitedly jumped at this opportunity having our entire squad and our leadership team & coaches here to witness it and to remind us of the act.
I have been baptized before, 9 years ago. I was baptized in the beginning months of a year discipleship school. I did not have the excitement 9 years ago present yesterday. 9 years ago, I felt an obligation to be baptized. Yesterday I wanted it.
But why did I want it? I asked Jesus, “do you want me to be baptized here during in this season?” He responded “I won’t deny you; I won’t tell you no. Do you want it?” Did I? I took a couple hours and dove in. I wanted to read of Jesus’ baptism. What happened and what happened after?
Jesus, was physically marked by Holy Spirit, right? The dove came out of heaven and sat on him. Jesus then began his ministry, with Holy Spirit.
I have been walking through this first month, a transition month, mostly on my own. I don’t want to walk these next 10 in my own strength. I want to walk in Holy Spirit’s strength. I want to be led by him. I want to follow Jesus’ example.
Okay, so then mark this time by baptism in water.
Did anything magically happen when I came up out of the water? No. Do I feel I have been supernaturally filled? I did for a few moments yesterday. But today? No.
Baptism is a physical act. It’s an action I can look back on, it signifies what I want my daily life to look like. I have 30+ witnesses to remind me, “Andrea, the old you is dead. The one that believed lies, is dead. Andrea that was afraid is left in the Indian Ocean. She’s not present here. New Andrea, resurrected Andrea, Andrea that believes she’s a daughter of the most high King, she’s here. She is you.”
Every day is a choice to walk in resurrected life. Every moment is a choice to walk in truth.
As we thank Jesus for this past month, and look forward to the next, I am encouraged to journal what has happened in me this month. Make mementos as reminders of what Papa has done this month.
Here’s some bullet points of what has happened day to day and in me to give you a glimpse into the days and weeks:
some things we did:
// eating wherever we go, regardless if we are truly hungry
// eating authentic Indonesian food (they like their chilis and we learned to like it too)
// hearing the heart of our ministry host for their community (they are burning with the fire of love)
// being awakened by the call to prayer at 4am
// walking less than a mile to the mall at least 2 times a week
// encountering the friendliest people (vendors along the street were eager to say hallo as we passed)
// countless selfies with the Indonesians
// going into a mosque for women’s prayer time & being welcomed by a leader of the community
// joining a medical ministry to a village
// singing with Indonesian believers
// being hosted by fathers and mothers (they loved us well)
// camping in the mountains of Indonesia (2 nights)
// taught English to elementary kids
// celebrated birthdays on our last day with kiddos
// visited several homes and our presence was enough
inside me I discovered:
// I like routine more than I thought
// I had expectations that are being redefined
// I put up walls when I come into a new community and culture
// when I’m discouraged I want to isolate and then talk about it with my team after I’ve figured it out on my own with Papa
// my squadmates see that I bring something only I can contribute
// I believe lies too quick and then begin to question my identity
// I struggle with insecurity
// I’ve got a voice that I need to use more
// Papa is a gentleman and won’t reveal what I’m not ready to share with my team
// when I voice what I don’t want to share, breakthrough begins
I hope this gives you more of a glimpse into all that has come up this month.
It’s hard to hone in on what to share when there is so much to share!
This debrief time has encouraged my heart. I have been challenged to speak out what I am truly feeling and thinking, and it’s been hard, but the end result is beautiful. It’s difficult, but once I share it, when I share my heart, there is this weight that lifts and I realize I am not alone in my struggles.
PRAYER REQUESTS
+ traveling to our next country tomorrow!
+ seek Papa’s heart for our next location
+ continue being vulnerable and being me
+ set my expectations to be from Papa not from the country or hosts or teammates
+ unity and open hearts in the team/squad
ANSWERED PRAYER
+ much rest and refreshment during this time 🙂
+ really being able to process and see that what Papa is stirring is good, it’s hard but it’s going to be beautiful to see what he does with it
+ health! I am so thankful to be healthy
+ reuniting with the whole squad has been such a joy and encouragement
+ anonymous donation was gifted to nearly every person on my squad!
+ I have met the next financial deadline amount three weeks before the deadline! hallelujah! The Lord provides!
THANK YOU ALL!!! My thanks and thoughts to you this day!
Onto the next adventure! We shall see what it looks like. Thank you Jesus for refreshing and encouraging me. I’m seeing with fresh perspective.
I’d love to hear from you, drop me an email or comment and I’ll get back to you when I can. 🙂
Waves of love from the Indian Ocean! haha 🙂
