Tonight we got to experience the city transitioning from day to night.
A local, who has become a dear friend & treasure to our team, took us to a food festival kind of evening (I believe to celebrate the start of Chinese New Year). Two to three blocks in the city were blocked off and vendors set up their tents and were making and selling their food for those who ventured out this Sunday evening.
This is truly the only night we have been out, as we are advised to normally stay in (for our safety and it’s a good rule of thumb to go by in any place you travel). But it was a new side of Indonesia I had not experienced.
It was refreshing. We had to wait out some rain for a bit (the raindrops here are massive! and it’s a downpour once it starts), some kids found us and we discovered how funny our teammate Taylor is. (I mean we already know he’s funny, but he showed us and the kids what cracks up his niece & nephew, and the same laughter was shared with many.)
We then ate. I believe it’s safe to say this was, our team as a whole, favorite meal. (believe me, we have eaten a lot here. I think I have gained a few pounds just from all the eating, every day. haha!) We had lamb sate (meat on a stick that is cooked slowly over hot coals and fanned by a bamboo fan), and a soup that I am unsure how to describe other than heavenly.
In retrospect to the rest of today, today has been a struggle for me.
This morning started out, I was feeling homesick and thinking a lot of Redding and my friends there. It took me by surprise that I was missing home so much, and when we went to church (all in Indonesian) I was again shocked I was still struggling being present.
Last Sunday was also a struggle, but I did not have true rest all week- so I hit a wall and was drained. That was not so for today.
Reexamine
As I look over what has been filling our days here in Indonesia, I have been overwhelmed. I had no idea we would be going so much every day. There’s so much to take in. I stare out the window as we travel, but my senses are on overload here constantly.
One day while traveling in the car, Papa revealed to me how much I enjoy routine & how that will be tested a lot this year. Yep, it has already been tested. haha! For example, when I have no more energy for the day and am no longer wanting to be social, I make time for rest. Here, it’s not the case. Nope, it’s time to eat out! Or go meet more people here, or go visit someone’s home. // I am being stretched.
Then there’s those moments I’m staring out the window, or journalling, or eating and Papa reminds me, “Remember when you said you want my agenda this year and not yours?”
Ouch. There’s been a lot of these moments this month.
A lot of testing moments; a lot of moments where I can grumble.
Then he reminds me of the yes I have given him.
I have said yes to this crazy, inconvenient year.
I have said yes to his agenda.
I have said yes to letting him rule my thoughts and day.
So then I better wake with my yes every morning.
I have a bracelet I never take off that says yes. The reminder was silver, now it is tarnishing and becoming copper in color. Hmm…
I will take this is a reminder as well. No matter how tarnished I may feel, no matter how empty or weak I feel, my yes to him is still my yes.
No matter how homesick I get,
no matter how long it takes for me to let Papa take down these walls,
no matter how much food I eat and pounds I gain from eating and lack of exercise,
no matter how many times I am constipated,
no matter how much I keep my grumbling to myself,
no matter how messy I am feeling,
no matter what country I am in,
no matter how loved I am feeling,
no matter how little language I know,
no matter how significant or insignificant I feel,
no matter how much I am doing,
no matter how many ants crawl on me,
no matter how much I compare myself to others,
no matter what I do or say,
my yes is still on my wrist.
Let it be the same in my heart.
I’m unsure how to end this blog, other than let it sit unsettled. I have had to learn to let that be my norm. Papa stirs up something, or brings what’s in my heart to the surface and it’s there and unsettled and I have to be okay with it. It’s not a neat process like I am used to. It’s messy and it’s challenging my joy and thought life.
Yet, (he always has to give me a yet. He loves me huh?) yet he brought this prayer to mind today. It’s one of the offering prayers from Bethel and I love it. I want to memorize it this year. I need to. It’s true and powerful and I want it to take what I know in my head to my heart.
I am powerful
And what I believe changes the world
So today I declare
God is in a good mood
He loves me all the time
Nothing can separate me from His love
Jesus’ blood paid for everything
I will tell nations of what He has done
I am important
How He made me is amazing
I was designed for worship
My mouth establishes praise to silence the enemy
Everywhere I go becomes a perfect-health zone
And with God
Nothing is impossible!
PRAYER REQUESTS
+ prioritize time with Papa every day
+ my yes to be my yes every morning
+ intimacy with Papa, Jesus & Holy Spirit (I feel distant)
+ fully funding (still have a couple thousand to go)
+ see the gold in this month though it’s been more bumpy than I expected
ANSWERED PRAYER
+ adventure day in the mountains (this brought me life, praise him)
+ quality time with team & getting to know each other more
+ our hosts are so very generous & gracious
Big love from Indonesia! Thank y’all for your support, love and prayers. I can feel it and I am so very thankful. I would not be here without you!! Miss you and love you!!
THANK YOU!!! (I will post a photograph only blog soon) 🙂
