I can count on one hand the times that I have looked in the mirror and thought I was pretty.
I have never given much thought to my “dream wedding” because I don’t believe there will be one.
I have never struggled with thoughts of intimacy because I have never believed someone would want me.
I have not struggled with “guarding my heart” because that would mean someone would want it in the first place.
When I look at a picture, the first thing I look at is my weight in comparison to people around me.
I will always be someone’s second choice.
John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it.”
On this journey, we have been bringing the Light and the Word, like John describes, into some very dark places and shining His Light here so that the darkness that exists can no longer have power, authority, or any hold on these people. It has been beautiful to see people walk away in freedom, to see chains broken, to see the Light clarify everything around them, and to see them come to a knowledge that they no longer walk in darkness not knowing what’s ahead of them but rather they walk in light knowing that it is Christ who leads their lives.
I’m writing this today to gain freedom from the lie of unworthiness that I have inwardly believed about myself for the majority of my life. I am writing this today because when I told a little girl at an orphanage that she was beautiful, she looked back at me and fervently said,
“No, I am not!”
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I am writing this today because I am not the only one who believes this lie and I am not the only one who needs freedom from it.
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There have been countless times that I have received opportunities to speak and preach on women’s worthiness. I remember specifically a time in El Salvador, I spoke to a group of women that had been sex trafficked about the Lord choosing them and calling them beautiful. I meant every word that I told them. I remember speaking to a group of teens in Malawi telling them that when they choose life and choose to live out the gospel, they are most beautiful. I remember countless times looking around at the women on our squad and feeling so blessed to be a part of such a lovely and purely beautiful group of young women.
How can I boldly proclaim these things and not believe the very thing I’m speaking on? I can’t. I am a hypocrite.
It’s time to strap on some armor and fight; fight for myself, fight against this lie, fight for who Christ says I am because He calls me worthy. So worthy, in fact, that he gave up his seat at the right hand of the Father to come and die for me.
So, if you have ever believed that you aren’t worthy or aren’t beautiful…it’s time to join me and fight. The enemy doesn’t want to see us succeed. He doesn’t want us to see Christ’s perfectness within us because when we shine – we shine Him. These lies no longer have any ground and it’s time to start talking about them and bringing them into the light.
It’s time to start fighting FOR each other, championing each other, bringing each other into righteousness. It’s time to stop comparing ourselves and focusing on insecurities and instead start celebrating our differences. Moms and Dads: it’s time to speak life into your children in more ways than just telling them verbally what they should believe. If you don’t believe that you are worthy or that you are beautiful or that you are good enough, your children will see that and will take that on for themselves.
Have I conquered these lies? of course not. Am I going to battle these lies by intentionally throwing Truth on them when they surface? you betcha. I encourage you to do the same.
I am all that He says I am and He says I am lovely, worthy, beautiful and wanted.
