You know how sometimes you just want to go outside and just yell because in doing so it'll make all the feelings of being overwhelmed go away and you know that instantly, once you let out that super-annoying sound that everything will be fine?!
yeah….
That's where I'm at and it hasn't even begun. However, I feel overwhelmed by all the little things that compile themselves into one HUGE group – the deadlines, the minuscule packing items that I think I need to feel "comfortable" on this journey, the distance that I can run while trying to get in shape for this trip, the whole "getting the word out" process, the letter-writing, the talking to people, the in-depth explanation of what I'll be doing, the question of "where the heck is this money going to come from?!!!" the missing my friends terribly, the stupidity that comes with all of those thoughts with the reminder of: it's JUST 11 months! AND THE LIST GOES ON.
and then….
I remember Who's in control. and I laugh. at myself…at the fact that I, as always, am over-analyzing, over-thinking, and over-exaggerating EVERY thing. Because in reality:
Who cares?!
Seriously. WHO cares about packing, running, deadlines, explanations, meetings, homesickness, being comfortable. Jesus didn't call me to worry. He didn't call me to freak out. He didn't call me to dramatically exaggerate every thing as if it were the end of the world. He called me to seek Him (Proverbs 3:6). He called me to take care of the least of these (Matthew 25:40). He called me to love the sick, needy and the poor (Micah 6:8). He called me to be a representation of Himself to this world. He called me to walk as He walked (1 John 2:6). and He didn't walk a walk of worry and over-reactions. He walked a humble life of following His Father.
7 months ago, my friend (and boss at that time) was teaching about when Jesus called the disciples to follow Him. He pointed out very clearly that Matthew records the disciples IMMEDIATELY dropping their nets and following Jesus. By doing this act, they were leaving everything behind.
::everything::
I wrote in my prayer journal that night that I wanted to know what it was like to drop everything and follow Jesus. I wanted to feel that abandonment of leaving my self-centered bubble of comfort and follow Jesus, wherever. I wanted to drop my net and not look back.
So, these worries? Unnecessary…because the Lord answered my prayer and desire to leave everything behind and follow Him.
I honestly have NO IDEA where this is going to lead (well…I mean…aside from the obvious 11 countries) I have NO IDEA how this is going to change me – but knowing that it's Christ who will be renewing me and changing me as I am stretched and refined and leave everything to follow Him makes all those overwhelming thoughts seem so….silly.
You know how sometimes you just want to go outside and just yell because in doing so it'll make all the feelings of being overwhelmed go away and you know that instantly, once you let out that super-annoying sound that everything will be fine?! you want to let the world know how excited you are about the work that Christ is doing in your life?!
yeah….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw
