Dear Brothers and Sisters,
I have to be honest with you. This year has been much harder than I originally thought it would be. I celebrated my 18-month sobriety date this month and was very happy about that accomplishment. On my team, I am surrounded by loving and caring people, but not many of them have a past involving struggles with substances. I did not think about this before coming on the race. I did not think about the lacking of a sober community in my life. I did not think about how much I need that in my life.
The first two months had their moments of weakness, but I was able to prevail. However, the 2 travel days from Nepal to South Africa brought me a new view on this matter. The struggle was real… Struggle bus, occupancy me.
Normally I do not put myself into situations involving alcohol unless I feel prepared for the event and have a “plan B” incase I need to get out of there. Well, while flying in a metal tube thousands of feet in the air there can be no “plan B”. And the enemy knew this would be a prime moment of weakness. As the flight attendants brought beverages around it seemed like everyone around me was getting something. Beer, wine, mixed drinks, there was something for everyone.
Now at this point I am tired after a five-hour flight and a 22-hour layover in Kolkata, and we were hoping on a half-day flight to South Africa. For most sober people, when we are tired it makes it much easier to stumble. I could smell it in the air, hear it in the slowly growing laughter, and the requests for another beverage. It was hard. I had to excuse myself to the restroom multiple times to get out of the public eye and cry. I was in an inescapable torment tube.
It wasn’t just strangers either. Some are my brothers and sisters, which did not make it any easier. But it is not their struggle, so how would they know? I did not say anything, so how could they be aware? They were not having a ton of drinks, but their one drink was still affecting me this much?
Don’t worry; there is a happy ending… I made it through the flight without falling back into that. But it brought a reality of how big of a struggle this is for me. Sobriety is my daily struggle. I would love to kick back and enjoy a beer with a burger, or a glass of wine with desert, but I can’t. And having people doing that around me causes my mind to stumble.
It makes my mind start to rationalize that “I could have just one”, “that drink would taste so good”, “I would enjoy my time more with a drink”, “I am more fun after a drink or two”. These are all lies. These lies come out full force when I cannot escape from the temptations.
So, I have put this all out there to call us as Christians to a higher place. Do we want to cause our brothers and sisters to stumble? I sure do not, and I know I have caused others to stumble in the past. I am asking you to join me in agreeing to put others before ourselves. To show our love, not just speak about it. We do not know what the struggles of the person, so let us be a blessing to them instead of an appeal. Let us fight strong holds and temptations together, not individually.. Because individually we fail, but together we can succeed.
Sincerely,
Your Stumbling Sister
Thank you to everyone who has supported me. It is with your generous donation that I am in South Africa spreading love. I cannot say thank you enough!
With that being said, I am still $3,380 away from being fully funded. If you feel led, please consider partnering with me either with prayer or financially. You can click on the “Support Me” tab found on the left hand side, or join me by becoming a prayer partner. Everything helps!
