Sure, I’ll jump into a cage in the ocean with Great White’s feeding on fish 2 feet away from me, or love every minute of driving down the side of a mountain on a cliff in Nepal, but the thought of standing up in front of everyone and fumbling over my words trying to get a message out, no thanks!
This month we were given the opportunity to speak at church every Sunday. Our team decided to draw names every week to see who would be speaking. The first time we drew names I was so nervous, I did not want to hear my name read. I didn’t get called and was so relieved, but somehow I knew my time was coming later this month. The next weekend we drew names again and I nervously sat there until my name wasn’t called. Whew..I had made it another week.
Of course the final weekend came around and I already knew God wanted me to preach so after talking to my team and getting encouragement from them I agreed to do it. Then we drew names just for fun and mine was drawn to preach anyways! Nothing like good ol’ conformation from the Big Man Upstairs!
So.. I preached on Sunday.
And I really wasn’t expecting the experience to be so.. Freeing. I stepped out of my comfort zone and did what God wanted me to do, it may not have been perfect but I did it. Something that may seem so small, was such a huge accomplishment for me. I didn’t let Satan hold me back or believe his lies, instead I stepped out and said “yes” to God. I even happily accepted the encouragement and compliments from my teammates. God was with me the entire time. He calmed by nerves, gave me peace and I had complete confidence in the fact that He wanted me to preach and that no matter what happened God could work through me. He even told me He was proud of me the night before I spoke in Church. It doesn’t matter to Him if I mess up or if I fail, He is delighted when I trust in Him and take the chance He’s set in front of me.
God has been restoring confidence in me all year, but I find the biggest confidence boost’s come from the times I trust Him and say “Yes.” Even if stepping out results in me falling it doesn’t matter because I get closer to God every time I take a chance. When I take a step, He takes a step, when I move, He moves. His deep love is constantly surrounding me and His grace is more than sufficient. God can show up when I move, but when I refuse to take a step and would rather not budge, I’m not giving Him the chance to show me what He can do.
So it’s the end of month 9 and I”m finally grasping the concept of freedom and what it really means to draw my courage, strength, and love from God. I often thank Him for saving me from the ways of the world that I once called life. And for freeing me from the enemy who I didn’t even realize held me captive for so long.
