I am absolutely ecstatic about the World Race. Every part of my heart is in this. God has placed this desire and opened the door for me to go and my heart is assured there’s no other option for this next season of my life. I’m so grateful for the clarity and direction God has placed in my heart for this. Right now, God is teaching me the beauty of Transparency.
I don’t like showing my weaknesses or talking about what I struggle with, it’s actually really hard for me. Especially since I have been working in Children’s Ministry, I’ve gained the mindset even more of having to be perfect or having to appear perfect (which we all know is completely impossible, not to mention a lie!) yet knowing so, I still strive for it for some reason. Even with the people I am closest to, if I am dealing with something, I just push through it on my own. That’s what I’ve always done. Growing up in foster care, I’ve battled with tendencies of not trusting people with my struggles and in turn, not trusting God sometimes with my heart. When I mess up, I suppose there’s an underlying fear of being put aside or done with (it’s not a conscious thought, just what I believe it essentially comes down to). I (like all of us) have to <strike>learn</strike> embrace that my (our) past experiences with people do NOT define or foreshadow our experience with God. He holds and shows so much more grace and un-tampered love.
I look at David, he was called “a man after God’s own heart” and he messed up so much; yet, his heart was so in love with God, he placed to much trust in God. I look at Paul, He said it so often, “I boast in my weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9 “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.””
I’m learning to be transparent. It’s not exactly a fun lesson to learn, and it’s one that I will be continually learning, but it’s something God will teach me. All I can do is say “Yes, Lord” and go where He leads, say what He says, and do what He calls me to. I have to accept that I’m going to mess up, and learn to embrace the fact that God works through our testimonies, which include my (our) successes and failures (from the past but also the present) which, are all part of the testimony of how God has/is working in my life. I have to learn to not only KNOW the grace God has for me, but learn to EMBRACE GRACE, to learn what He means when He says “my grace is sufficient for you”. Maybe this lesson on my heart is more than transparency, but also the reason behind the lack of transparency.
Transparency is defined as: allowing light to pass through so that objects can be distinctly seen; easy to perceive or detect.
As I look at that definition and apply to people, to our hearts, I think transparency is something that comes with Humility. When we fully embrace the grace of Christ, we realize that nothing we do matters anyways, because it’s not about us, but all about how Christ has rescued us through His grace and love. As the body of Christ we are called to lift one another, to encourage one another, to hold each other accountable. If we aren’t transparent, no accountability can be shown. Transparency requires humility. In fact, I would go as far to say that being a true follower of Christ requires humility.
God, teach me humility. Teach me how to walk in transparency, with You and with the people around me. Teach me to become more like You and less concerned with me. Thank you for your grace and love and for being perfectly shown in the midst of my weakness, not because I fail, but because of how you transform failure to beauty.
So that’s that. That’s my heart at the moment. If we all grasp this, just think of how much more functional the body of Christ would be. Transparency and Humility. I hope this helps some of you, as I’m sure I’m not the only one who has struggled with this. This was actually a little hard to write and post, but it’s just really been on my heart. So, here it is.
Thank you for taking the time to read what is weighing in my spirit.
with all the love in my heart,
Andie
