Let’s travel back to late winter of 2012. I attended a short conference with one of my dear friends, Lauren. We randomly decided to attend a conference we had heard about, at a church we had issues finding and knew literally no one who was attending. We walk in only to find it being way different than what we (maybe I should speak for myself?)… different than what I was expecting. It was a small room with chairs set up, a small area made to look like a stage, and a ton of people way older than us. I have to admit, I was a bit timid about being there… shy, embarrassed (we were late and had to walk in front of EVERYONE) and overall just unsure. Lauren and I stood in front of our seats as the rest were worshiping. I wanted to jump in yet, I was terrified. I was insecure with where I was, unsure of my surroundings and just uncomfortable. I was there though… So, I pressed into God, forgot about my insecurities and surroundings, and He took my heart and soared with it.
Towards the end of the service, someone from the audience was asked to come up front. He timidly walked up front, held the microphone in his hand and stood quietly for a moment. I can still hear it and envision it as if it were yesterday. It was obvious he didn’t like being in front of people as he stood, both hands grasping the mic. As He spoke, it was with such a genuine heart, and with such assurance in his voice. He said, “I see you working with Children…” He got that far and I immediately tuned him out. I stopped listening. My heart was pounding. I panicked because at that time I “knew” exactly what I wanted to do, how I was going to get there, and kids were no where in that plan. I had raised/been around kids all of my life- I had played “mom” for too long. I said time and time again, I will never have a job that involves me working with kids! He came back and spoke to me- he didn’t want to “read my mail.”
“God says, you are going to work with children. He says, the unconditional love you give but didn’t receive growing up, You’re going to be able to pour that love into these kids, and they are going to pour that love back and God is going to use that to heal your heart and your love in return will play part to heal theirs.” That’s what He told me. I walked out that night, looked at Lauren and said “He must have been talking to you, because I am never working with kids.” I thought he and God both were crazy!! I chuckled while she entertained the possibility of truth spoken to me.
That night is so powerful to me now. Something awakened within me, even though I did my best to ignore it. There was an excitement awakened in my spirit. I’m so thankful for that man stepping out of his comfort zone and being obedient. He planted a seed in my heart, and God has been faithful to grow it. I laugh at this story sometimes because I look at where God has led me and the avenues that were taken to get me here and I’m just amazed. I’m amazed at His faithfulness. His genuine love.
He used that man to tell me that God’s love would flow through these children and it would be a season that healed my heart. What a beautiful thing to be told, what a beautiful thing that someone was obedient to share that word, but how much more beautiful is it that God’s faithfulness has brought life to those words in my heart. Though I didn’t listen that night, it sparked a hunger for Gods purpose within me. When the reality of who we are created to be hits us, something inside us awakens. That’s exactly what happened. I was awakened. Here I am now, working with kids, and in them I see so much truth. I see so much of God in them and I find myself learning from them and becoming more and more like them.
God is so faithful. He knows our hearts better than we know our hearts. He created us, He adores us, He sees purpose and beauty within us- even when we can’t see purpose and beauty in ourselves. He sees purpose and beauty pouring from our testimonies, our victories over fears and insecurities. Jeremiah 29:11, I’m sure you know it. He has plans for us to prosper. Not to harm us.
Why don’t we trust His plan for us more often?
Just a thought. I know this was a lot of my story and my heart and God bless you if you’re still reading!! I know this is long!! haha But I’ve been reminded of that moment in 2012 as I’ve been challenged to genuinely trust His faithfulness. His faithfulness to my obedience and His faithfulness to His promises to others. If He is faithful with a seed as little as a word, wont He be faithful with a seed much greater?
My prayer is that you are encouraged- either to step out in obedience and allow God to use you to spark an awakening within someones heart and/or to trust His faithfulness to you at a new level.
What has He awakened within your heart? Are you fearful of what that looks like? How can you trust that He is faithful to grow that seed in your heart?
With all the love in my heart,
Andie
