The World Race is in about 5 months. Training Camp is in GA in 2 months, and my first financial deadline of $3500 is in about 5 weeks!!. I get a bit anxious as I’m typing this and I feel a sort of rush – worry and impossibility rush through my thoughts but my spirit leaps and my heart pounds, rushing excitement and assurance through my veins.
I get to do exactly what Christ told His disciples to do!
Luke 9 “ Then he called his twelve disciples together, and gave them power and authority over all devils, and to cure diseases.
2 And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick.
3 And he said unto them, Take nothing for your journey, neither staves, nor scrip, neither bread, neither money; neither have two coats apiece.”
One of my latest blogs was about the beauty of transparency… If I’m being transparent I must admit-I’m nervous. Here I am, leaving behind family and friends for a year. I’m realizing how precious time is. How valuable every second with each person in my life is.; a year is a long time, as a lot happens. I have moments where I become a little afraid of leaving. Not because of me, or what God is going to be doing, but because of things I won’t be able to take part in. I find myself questioning how it will affect my brothers, my sisters- what if something happens where they need me and I won’t be here. My nieces and nephews, and the kids I get to be with every Sunday morning- so much will change! There are a few relationships that could be fixed before I leave, and some relationships that are just starting to be rebuilt. All of this at times weighs heavy on my heart, the “what if’s” set in and at times I feel like I am doing the selfish thing: leaving everyone important in my life behind to satisfy the longing God placed in my soul. I have moments where I want to throw my hands up and walk away because I feel like I’m not good enough for this opportunity, or I find myself paralyzed at moments in fear that I won’t get the money in time and I’ll become a failure (I’m not the most upfront person when it comes to asking people for support). I know that’s not the case, though.
I know without an ounce of doubt in my heart that this is what God is calling me to. His spirit reassures me daily. I stand reminded on a daily basis of Gods faithfulness. All these anxieties of the World Race and leaving are just hidden in the background of reality. They don’t define my reality. They don’t define my future. I can’t and I WONT entertain thoughts of fear or nervousness.. What is the point in all the anxiety/nervousness? Why let fears of failure paralyze me? (any of us, for that matter! In any situation!)
1 John 4:18 says “Perfect Love casts out all fear”, therefore, since I know my Father’s perfect Love, there is no room for fear! (Insert Sweet Brown saying AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FO THAT!”) God’s love is perfect, and His perfect love will carry us through any situation. I think we all must learn to let our spirits be at peace in the midst of chaos or feelings of nervousness or whatever else we deal with.
So, I guess this all comes down to learning to constantly be Kingdom Minded. We know our battle is not against flesh and blood, but our battle is much realer than what our eyes can see.
Philippians 4:8 reminds me, “Finally , whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
I’ve been reminded of God’s faithfulness and I’m learning to focus more on His faithfulness and less on my “what if’s.”
God is Faithful. His love is perfect. His promises endure.
