Red light district.
We work with ex prostitutes.
We minister to prostitutes.
We work with women, who, at any minute, can leave to go back to the bars.
for money.
for love.
for affection.
for affirmation.
My heart aches tonight. Right now.
We sat together after meeting for our daily feedback and check in.
And then I got the news…
My teammate said "We need to pray for Jennifer."
I was unsure of what there was to pray about.
I knew that she had been missing.
I teach her English every day and she works at the coffee shop part of our ministry.
But, last week, she's slowly stopped showing up to class, to work.
I wondered where she was, but I knew she had a lot on her plate, I understood if she didn't come.
Her and I had a heart to heart last week,
I learned her story.
[[ She's been at the bar since she was 9 years old to pay for her school.
9 years old.
She just left the bar last year…
Last year.
1 year ago, after 11 years of being in the bar, she came to work for this ministry.
Kay and Mike have poured into her immensely and they helped her pay some of her debt.
She told me that her mom recently called asking for money, with tears in Jennifer's eyes, she said to me, "i can't go back to the bar. I know its not right in my heart. I know God doesn't want that for me…" She told her mom she doesn't have any money to give.
"go back to the bar" Her mom replied.
Jennifer explained how she can't do that.
"then we can't pay for your sister."
That same day, her ex husband calls asking for money, she said the same thing to him that she said to her mom.
"then your daughter isn't going to go to school."
she began to cry.
She confessed her temptation to go back.
My heart flipped, tears filled my eyes.
I didn't want that life for her, and she didn't want that life either… but, in her darkest moments, it seems like the only option she has.
She then shared with me about her ex husband running around on her while she was pregnant with their child. She shared with me how she's had so many boyfriends since, and each one she hopes and prays it will be the last one.
I began to relate to her.
I get that feeling.
I began to explain my experience with "love".
That's where we bonded.
The feeling of being wanted.
I embraced her, I began to encourage her, I told her she was beautiful and wanted by God. I told her God is so proud of her and her decisions she's made to make a better life for herself. She nodded.
I told her my prayer for her was that she knew she was loved by God, because she is.
She started crying harder as I held her. ]]
"we need to pray because Jennifer is back at the bars."
She's far in debt, she needed to pay her debt to whomever she owes it to.
So, she went where she knew she could get the money.
We sat in silence before the Father on her behalf, pleading at the throne for her to come back.
Crying, I begged the Father silently to see her before we leave next Monday.
I begged that the Spirit changes her heart and brings her back to us.
I mean, damn it.
What do you do with that?
It's so incredibly unfair.
Sex trafficking and prostitution isn't just some number anymore, it's not some percentage that we see on the internet, TV, or some documentary, it's not something we read about.
These are real people. With real stories. With real personalities and sass.
And I know them.
I meet them every week.
These are my friends, my family, my sisters.
I eat with them, I share stories with them, I hear their stories, I laugh with them, I hold their hand, I hug them, I love them.
prostitutes isn't their name, they're God's daughters.
What do you do with news that your friend and sister is back at the bars?
okay, okay, I know, we pray, I pray, yes.. that's good stuff.
But, my heart is hurting. I'm on the verge of tears even as I write this.
This world. It's so corrupt. it's so messed up. it's so unfair.
So, I end this with a thankful heart, because God is good, even in really crappy situations.
Tonight, I'm thankful for a faithful God and Shepherd that is calling after His sheep to return home to Him.
I'm thankful that He's hearing our prayers and saying
"i know! I know! please come back to me, daughter."
I'm thankful for the relationships we build here.
I'm thankful for God's sovereignty.
I'm thankful for the authority that we have, in Jesus name.
I'm thankful that when we rebuke the enemy, he flee's because he's weak.
I'm thankful for the victory that Jennifer carries, even if she may not feel or know it yet.
I'm thankful for the authority she has.
I'm thankful for her return, in Jesus name.
I'm thankful for her story, because it will touch lives.
I'm thankful God's not done with her yet.
For personal reasons, I didn't post her real name, I didn't feel it was right.
Be in prayer for her though, that she see's the light and comes back. The enemy is using money to lure her back to the bar, he's using her debt. We're rebuking satan on her behalf. She is God's daughter. We are fighting for her. Fight for her with us.
I'm proclaiming that we will see our sister back at this ministry before we leave next Monday, in Jesus name.
