The blog below was written by Carly Cronin who left on the Race in September of last year.
I sat at my desk this morning almost in tears as I read through her account of their time with these kids. I found myself actually missing holding the dirty kids covered in lice and poop. What?! Why?! It’s crazy how God makes you actually long for the hard things, the messy things, the things that are so difficult to push through at the time.
So I am sitting in a place of remembering right now… remembering the closeness of God in those places, remembering the feeling of being able to love the unloved, remembering how alive it makes me feel when I am pouring out what God’s given me. And as I’m remembering these places, these kinds of kids all over the world, I am so thankful for Racers like Carly that continue to go and share what she’s seeing.
And this is why. Once again, this is why I am here. At my desk in Georgia. This is why I write emails, call Squad Leaders, sit in meetings with Logistics, and do what I do. And once again I remember that I am the luckiest girl in the world. And that God loves me so abundantly that He continues to pour Himself out over me every single day… today, He decided to pour out through Carly, Mo, and what He is doing in India.
Read her story…
This month God has been teaching me some pretty sweet things amidst the
poop and the lice. I’m learning how to actually thank Him for the
opportunities I have to serve in this way. Yesterday I was reading a
devo from “Jesus Calling” and it said:
are learning to appreciate tough times, because they amplify your
awareness of My Presence. Tasks that you used to DREAD are becoming
rich opportunities to enjoy My closeness. When you feel tired, you
remember that I AM your strength; you take PLEASURE in leaning on
me….As you bask in the BLESSING of my nearness, My life can flow
through you to others. THIS IS ABUNDANT LIFE”
To
be honest I was very nervous about this month’s ministry as soon as we
found out what it would be. In the past I have substituted in special
needs classrooms and it was incredibly exhausting. Many amazing people
have a true passion for this specific ministry but I’ll be real…I was
TERRIFIED. The first time we visited the home I was completely
overwhelmed by all 80+ children who instantly surrounded us. My heart
was broken by the stories I heard describing how many of them had been
abandoned and left for dead but were found by ICM and brought to this
home. I returned home broken, exhausted, and not knowing the purpose of
me being in this ministry.
Something
our teams decided to do this month is start every morning with 1 hour
of corporate worship and prayer. Wow its been so incredibly refreshing,
and so helpful in getting my attitude and priorities in the right place
before going out to ministry! The first morning we met God gave me the
devotion quoted above which really spoke to my heart about changing my
attitude from “Ok I HAVE to scrub squatty potties today, so lets get
this over with Lord” to “Thank you Lord that I GET to scrub toilets for
you today, this is a responsibility that you have given me and it’s
important in your kingdom.” It’s not always easy to keep this attitude
but morning worship and accountability is definitely helping in HUGE
ways.
After that first day at the home I spent some time in
prayer specifically asking the Lord to change my heart about our
ministry….Guess what….the very next day He did just that. He laid
it on my heart and my teammate Leslie’s heart to ask who the children
were who received the least amount of attention throughout the day.
There are several kids who due to their needs that are immobile and lay
back in the corner quietly by themselves. Leslie and I were instantly
drawn to these precious boys and spent most of the morning loving on
them by making them smile with goofy songs and lots of tickles.
(Me and Mo)
boy in particular completely captured my heart, (the orphanage asked
that we protect the children’s identities online so we will call him
Mo). Mo is blind and most of the day he just lays quietly in the corner
on a bed all by himself. In order to reach Mo I had to take off my
shoes, hike up my skirt, and climb on the bed over other children back
to “his corner”.
first time I sat with him I tried to hold his hand while singing to him
but every time he would pull away but still lay listening quietly.
After being there for some time I decided to read a book and continue
sitting with him so I laid my hand on his leg to let him know I was
still there. About 5 minutes into my book I feel Mo place his hand
directly on top of mine and hold my hand tightly. As I’m writing this
I’m practically in tears because it was at this moment that God
revealed why He had me here in this country, in this ministry, at this
time, it was to love on Mo and on the other little boys in this room.
It was to be His Hands and to literally hold His children. In just one
small moment, one small gesture completely changed my heart, I felt
more love for this child than I had ever felt toward anyone I’d known
less than 3 days before! I feel overwhelmingly blessed to physically be
able to show love to these kids who so desperately need it.
Leslie and I asked which kids hardly ever leave their room and be
outside. We were pointed to four young boys (Mo was one of the 4). We
found 2 wheelchairs in a back room and took turns rolling our new
friends around the local village. I
wish I could’ve captured on video the absolute joy that these adorable
boys expressed when they felt the breeze in their hair and sun on their
faces because it was so full of joy and thankfulness. You could
physically see the delight etched on their faces as we spent time with
them and it made everything worth it….all the poop…all the
lice…it was all worth it for that one moment.
I
think I always knew He would give me strength when I was weak and joy
when I was tired, but this year The Race has actually tested those
beliefs out…time and time again I’ve seen Him answer when I call,
revive and refuel me when I’m empty, and give me more Joy and Love to
out pour than I could ever imagine.
