Anonymous said it best when s/he said Absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is true in all aspects of life, but especially in reference to the World Race experience.
Thus far my squad has been away from home for eight months. Eight months might not seem like a long time, but in actuality, it is the longest most of us have been away from home, family, friends, church… routine. And it takes its toll as it sees fit.
The danger of being on the Race, people might say, is homesickness. And while that may be true, I personally believe it is a side effect of the real issue: hollywoodization.
The Race is hard. We go without hot showers (or showers at all), proper toilets, beds, air conditioning, American fast food. We go without alone time, or personal space, or safe places to escape crowds and noise. We go without internet and Starbucks and a closet full of options. We daily embrace adventure and the unknown and the one tshirt that made it through five months of manual labor; we accept this motley arrangement of strays that have become a crazy-but-somehow-functioning family; we dive into everything new and nothing ordinary.
And it is an extraordinary life.
But sometimes, in the midst of all that stimulation and peril and thrill, hearts begin to ache for what we left behind, for what we hope will still be there when we return.
And this is where the real danger begins.
It is so easy to romanticize “home.” It is the simplest of occurrences to allow home and family and relationship and even jobs to become the hollywoodized versions of themselves, awash in daydreams with fuzzy edges viewed through wistful, rose-colored glasses. In essence, home becomes a movie.
The friendships that you placed on hold become The Best Friendships You’ve Ever had. That job that you gratefully left Just In Time became that job that you hope will still be there, waiting, because It Wasn’t Really That Bad And It Sure Beats Job Hunting. And that relationship that unfortunately ended just before or even whilst on the Race becomes The One, and You’re Sure Of It.
Are you? Are you certain that you haven’t allowed the good moments (even as fleeting as some of them may have been) to outweigh and overwhelm the reality? Have you allowed the fact that you haven’t spoken to your sister in eight weeks because-you’re-in-Africa-where-the-internet-refuses-to-also-be to create a false sense of what your relationship really looks like?
I’m not saying that the things we left behind weren’t great. But I am saying you should take a really good look in the mirror (if you ever find a place with one) and make sure that you’re seeking and looking at the truth, and not what you wished it would be.
Take me for example: I left a lot of things behind, some wonderful, some normal and routine, and some things that just do not merit nostalgia. I have to be okay with that. I cannot afford to get into the practice of thinking everything at home was perfect and lovely, because it is not truth (and we should all be truth seekers), and it is a tool of the devil, used to draw us back to doing the same things, speaking and acting and living the same way, rather than growing into a newer, stronger, wiser and more discerning version of who you once were.
We did not come on this Race to return unchanged. We did not sell our possessions or leave everything we know behind in order to go back and live the same way we always have. This experience is meant to draw us closer to the intimate presence of Jesus, and to being who we are ultimately created to be. The danger of romanticizing home is that we will check out early from where we are, and when we do return home, we will go back to sameness, rather than starting off leagues forward from where we were, diving in deeper, calling people into greater holiness, and living a life more worthy of the calling we have received. And those are the words Paul spoke to the Ephesians way back when, even. We, too, should take note.
Maybe there is a job waiting for you back home. Maybe there is a relationship that is preparing for marriage. Perhaps there is a reconciliation that you need to make with a friend or sibling or parent or employer. And yet, perhaps not. I’m not advocating one way or the other- the Holy Spirit is single-handedly responsible for convicting you of those things lovely and those things that need some tweaking, and you are responsible for being diligent in your listening and obeying. But I am definitely calling to your attention- and to mine, as well- that we are here for eleven full months, and there are reasons beyond our full understanding why we are here. Stop looking back to the past, try to discipline yourself to ignore daydreaming, and practice being fully present exactly where you are. It will keep you from hollywoodizing Home, and it will keep you from missing out on the crazy adventures that continually re-shape and chisel and polish who you are becoming.
The danger in daydreams is that they are not reality. They whisper of how you wish things were, and they prevent you from seeing how things really are and how the you that you are becoming through hard work, abandonment, and intentionally pressing into Jesus is the person who is necessary when you go back home.
Let go of the daydreams. Fight the romance of being away. And when you do go home- for indeed it is inevitable, even if only for a moment- you will have become the person who seeks and speaks truth, who sees things as Jesus sees them, and who has more discernment and clarity in hearing the prompting of the Holy Spirit for the Next Steps. And that’s the gift, that’s the reward. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about what you do, but who you are in Jesus that means the most. Faith without works may be “dead”, but works without faith is just trying to buy your way into eternity. Let Him continue to work on you. Let Him remind you of truth and wisdom, and let Him show you in His own perfect timing, what you are meant to do after today.
Think on and dwell on and abide in Today for “…tomorrow will worry about itself.”(Matt 6:34). Paul says in Galatians 6:7b-9, “A man reaps what he sows. The one whosows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
So, Racers, let us not. Let us not become weary in doing good, in remaining present, in being here, for if we do not give up we will reap a harvest not only in the lives of the people we encounter on the field, but at home as well.
