I don’t know if you’re aware or not, but I’ve been on this trip called The World Race for the last eleven months or so. It’s been a whirlwind, let me tell you. From sleeping on the floor to bathing with 3 inches of water in a bucket to eating 18-day-old duck fetuses, this trip has been something words can’t easily describe. It takes a lot of courage, honesty, humility, and intentionality to make it through the Race alive and well, but it also takes a little something else.
The World Race has a motto, you see. It is constantly being thrown around; you hear it over and over in meetings, debriefs, sessions, and conversations. You hear it so often that it almost becomes too commonplace to mean a lot. That motto is “Say Yes.” At its very base, it is so powerful and life-changing: say yes to life, say yes to ministry, say yes when it’s hard, say yes when it’s easy to say no, say yes, say yes, say yes. A little similar to the Jim Carrey movie, it is vital to opt in to whatever life throws at you. Don’t put a toe in the water- dive, jump, cannonball in and see what happens!
This is such an important motto.
But I think it might be lacking something.
This past summer- the summer of Africa- I was reading Tina Fey’s gloriously witty masterpiece Bossypants. Sounds like a real winner, right? (Well, it is). She writes in a chapter about improvisation that the First Rule is to SAY YES. Sound familiar? She writes:
When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. …Now, obviously in real life you’re not always going to agree with everything everyone says. But the Rule of Agreement reminds you to “respect what your partner has created” and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you.
I think that’s beautiful. “Start with a yes and see where that takes you.” She goes on to say that she finds it jarring when she meets someone whose first answer is no. Isn’t that true? Don’t we find it a little jolting when we invite someone into a conversation, into an experience, into our home and the answer is a no? It’s like we’re joyriding down a street at top speed, laughing and feeling the wind blow through our hair, jamming out to some obnoxiously loud 80’s hair band, and all-of-a-sudden-out-of-nowhere a stop sign pops up. It’s physically disconcerting, is it not? The joyride literally comes to a complete stop. That’s the power of “No.”
But with the power of “Yes” possibilities are endless.
Ms. Fey continues her rules of improvisation with one of the most important things I have ever heard: the rule is “not only to say yes, but YES AND. You are supposed to agree and then add something of your own.” If I start a scene with “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you just say, “Yeah…” we’re kind of at a standstill. But if I say, “I can’t believe it’s so hot in here,” and you say, “Yes, this can’t be good for the wax figures,” now we’re getting somewhere.”
She says, “To me YES, AND means don’t be afraid to contribute.”
And this is what I think World Race’s motto is missing. “Say yes” is really only the first step to a lifetime process. As Ms. Fey proves, if you only say yes and then wait for whichever way the wind will blow, you sit in a stalemate until someone else decides to make a move (or begin a new game, as this metaphor would suggest). If you instead choose “Yes AND” you actively join the conversation, the opportunity, the experience. You contribute. You give a little piece of yourself to whatever is being created.
I’ve said yes multiple times on this Race. But I’ve also stopped shortly after that. It’s easy to tell yourself that you’re opting in just because you showed up someplace, or you stayed a little longer, or you went somewhere with someone. But unless you are actively engaged, little difference is made whether you are there or not.
The last rule of improv, as Tina Fey teaches, is to “MAKE STATEMENTS: a positive way of saying ‘Don’t ask questions all the time.’ … Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles. Whatever the problem, be a part of the solution. Make statements with your actions and your voice.”
So first we must opt in, second we must add a piece of ourselves, and third we must be bold. If we’re constantly apologizing, or rerouting, or attempting to stop the flow and explain a difference in perspective, then this beautiful watercolor tour de force we are forging and shaping grinds to a halt. So there’s a difference of opinion. So someone mistook what you meant for what actually came out of your mouth. So what? If hurt is not being had, go with it! Tina says, “There are no mistakes, only opportunities.” Otherwise known as “beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world’s greatest discoveries have been by accident.”
So to you new or current Racers who might be reading this and thinking, “Why on earth am I reading a World Race blog about improvisational acting??” Because you’ve made it this far and you might as well finish.
And also because these rules work both in improv and in life. This is my challenge, my encouragement, and my prayer: Say Yes AND. Opt in to anything and everything, but then contribute something of your own. Play a part in whatever is happening. Engage in whatever role is available and leave a part of yourself there. Don’t just show up and wait for someone else to take the reigns, or tell you where to stand, or when to say your lines. You don’t need a cue card; you don’t need a stage manager whispering your lines to you. Take it upon yourself to engage. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be captivating. Be exactly who you are, and leave your mark on the world. But first you must decide to make that leap.
all quotations are taken directly from Bossypants, by Tina Fey, available at most bookstores, and online at amazon.com, as well as all kinds of other online book order places. you should google it.
this has been a public service announcement. thank you for your attention.
