When I think about the journey that lies before me, I can tell you with certainty that I am so excited about what is to come. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for me in the 11 months that I will be on the mission field. As time goes by, day by day, week by week, month by month – and I get closer to my launch date, I get a little nervous.
I am anxious. I am just ready to go out and make disciples. But sometimes, I wonder how I ever got to be so lucky that the Lord would want to use someone like me. I am a mess. I am not perfect. I don’t know the Bible through and through. I can quote very few scriptures by memory. In fact, I don’t even go to church faithfully every Sunday or Wednesday night, but I do try. So what kind of missionary am I or will I be?
Maybe I am not perfect, but God doesn’t need perfect people. He just needs a willing heart to go where He leads. I’ve been a liar. I’ve been a cheater. I’ve been mean. I’ve been so many ugly things that are not Godly…
BUT GOD sees me in a different light. He sees my heart. He doesn’t remind me of my shortcomings or all the times I have failed Him miserably. He just loves me, exactly the way I am, with all my imperfections.
So what kind of missionary am I or will I be?
Well, I can tell you that I will go wherever the Lord leads me. I will use whatever I do know about the Lord and tell everyone I know. I can attest to His goodness in my life. I can treat others the way the Lord treats me, with a kind and noble heart, loving me for who I am and not for what I have done. I can share stories about all the times the Lord saved my life, kept me out of jail, or showed up in ways unimaginable. I can be a witness of His grace and mercy. I can share stories about the miracles I have seen happen right before my own very eyes. Stories of God transforming lives, stories of reconciliation and redemption, stories of healing, stories about His sovereignty…
Need I say more?
Recently, I have been diving in heavy and really being intentional about my relationship with the Lord. I wake up early to pray, I pray throughout the day. I watch YouTube videos of testimonies for redemption, restoration, healing, etc. I watch sermons online that encourage me. I fill my days with good reads, whether through my bible studies or fellow racer’s blogs. I just try to fill up my cup with the goodness of the Lord.
I have been so encouraged by my squad-mates and just all the people around me that have supported my journey. So when I stop to think about the kind of missionary I will be, the Lord reminds me that I am the perfect missionary because I am real.
I am living my life, just like the next person – with many questions and concerns. However, I am trusting and believing that there is something more than just living my day to day life always wondering about what the purpose of life is; instead I am chasing after God’s very own heart and wondering more about getting to know Him better and living out my purpose – and that is to be more like Christ and tell everyone I know or encounter all about Him.
