Greetings from Thailand! It is just past 3:00AM here and I thought it would be a good time to check in and let y’all in on what my life is looking like right now. We just left Bangkok the day before yesterday and arrived in Chiang Mai at about 4:00AM yesterday morning. Currently we are staying in a super huge, comfy house in a gated and private community: FAANNNCCCHHYYY!
I am diggin’ it. It is a bit out of our budget really, but yet here we are. I have my own private room and I have zero complaints about that.
This past month has been a bit of whirlwind. It’s gone by so fast. There was a lot of goodness and a lot of brokenness and tons of questions. In fact, my heart is still longing for answers to things I still don’t quite understand about God’s heart for some of the things that weighed heavy on my heart while in Cambodia.
He has shown me though, that even in the hard things, in the things I can’t completely wrap my head around—He is still present.
Now, we are in Thailand. We just wrapped up our first debrief, where we met back up with the entire squad to just reflect on what our time on The World Race has been like so far.
For me, it has been a bit challenging. I am here with a group of people that I don’t fully know well yet, there’s a lot of different personalities and honestly, I’ve just not really felt like myself lately. I’ve felt a little far from God. I have been in His word daily, but I have isolated myself in my community and just haven’t felt like wanting to really be a part of what is going on around me.
I’ve just been here, but not here, here.
I wanted to be on The World Race so bad for so long and now I am here and not really enjoying it all to the fullest right now. I enjoy my solitude and so being on this trip with people around all the time is taking some getting used to I guess.
I also really miss my family and friends and all the familiar things. I miss my momma’s food. I miss elotes. I miss tacos. I miss my city. I miss my community.
Don’t misunderstand though, I am having fun and enjoying the journey, I am just in a weird space right now. I am full, but not satisfied. I am thirsty for the Lord, and just haven’t felt Him close to me, but I am still praising Him. I am still seeking Him and learning to be still. I am not letting up. If He is silent, I trust that He has my best interest at heart and there is something He wants to teach me right where I am planted.
I just have to keep reminding myself to return to the Lord. Is He enough? When I don’t feel connected and I don’t hear His voice or I can’t discern His direction, will He still be enough?
So— I come. God, I come and return to the Lord. You are still all that I need and You are still enough for me.
“Therefore return to your God! Hold fast to love and mercy, to righteousness and justice, and wait [expectantly] for your God continually!” – Hosea 12:6
For now, I’ll just wait upon the Lord. Soon, I hope to be able to share something other than my feelings about the space I am occupying right now. If you feel led to do anything for me, please keep me lifted in prayer. I need it.
Also, just a little reminder that I am still currently fundraising and any amount you could offer would help me get a little bit closer to being fully funded. All donations are 100% tax deductible and 1,000% appreciated.
Dios les bendiga! XOXO
