Yesterday, I booked a one-way ticket to San Francisco. & although I am filled with so much hope and excitement about my future, I am also equally filled with a rush of what seems like a thousand different emotions: happiness, sadness, concern, eagerness, excitement, confidence, joy, peace….and the list really goes on and on.
I can’t exactly pinpoint the correct word to describe everything I am feeling in this exact moment but it is so surreal.
It’s like getting that one thing you have prayed for, for a very long time and it finally coming to fruition.
I am reminded of Habakkuk 2:3
“For the vision is yet for the appointed [future] time
It hurries toward the goal [of fulfillment]; it will not fail.
Even though it delays, wait [patiently] for it,
Because it will certainly come; it will not delay.”
The time has come. What I have waited for in expectation is finally here. I feel confident about what the Lord has called me to do and I am elated to be serving Him and others in my 33rd year of life (my Jesus year).
I’ve thought about all the things that could go wrong, the things I’ll miss out on, the family and friends I won’t see for an extended period of time, the money I won’t make and all the comforts I am giving up to go out into the world and allow God to use me in ways unimaginable.
Besides the obvious, (family and friends) I think about all the little things I will miss the most and if I am honest, I cry.
I don’t even know what I am getting myself into, but my heart is in it.
I’ll miss the calls and voicemails from my sweet parents when they just miss me so much and want me to come over for breakfast or dinner. Their sweet and tender hugs.
Simba! My freaking little crazy, illegal Mexican gato that thinks he’s a dog.
The impromptu lunch dates with my siblings. The sometimes annoying, never-ending sibling group text message threads at all hours of the day or night.
The occasional texts, phone calls or snaps from my nieces and nephews.
The late night hang-outs with my childhood besties and all their children.
Movie dates with my girlfriends on $5 movie night at Alamo Drafthouse.
My church! Community. Tres Dias, Iron Sisters, Small Groups, and Bible Studies.
Mermaid Day.
Art shows, happy hours, boss babe meet ups, concerts and plays.
Sushi from my favorite spot in Dallas. Texas Roadhouse. Oak Cliff. Brunch dates, lunch dates and dinner dates. Pho. Eatzi’s. Chik-fil-a!
Driving around, admiring the beauty of my city. The beautiful Dallas skyline.
Ubering and Lyfting. Getting my hustle on. My job. My bosses. My parking spot.
The little homeless couple that I have befriended in Deep Ellum.
The hikes I sometimes do with gorgeous views of downtown. Riding around on scooters.
Baths. Manis and pedis. Massages. Facials.
The birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, pregnancies and let’s face it…possible funerals, I won’t be present for. Although I hope and pray protection, provision and peace over every. single. one. of. you.
My heart! I can’t help but get a little emotional, but I know that this is all in His hands. He has a plan and a purpose for me in this season of my life and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t count it all as a blessing.
How fortunate am I, that I get to live my life in abandon for the Lord.
I am going where He leads, whatever it may look like for me.
I know all the little things I’ll miss, but my reward will be greater and I honestly cannot wait to see what this next year has in store for me.
I’ll give it all up for the Kingdom. I’ll give it all up to be the woman that God has called me to be, for Him to lead me without borders, stretch and grow me, as I bloom, exactly where He plants me.
