As I sit around the table with my coworkers and some of my closest friends, rolling silverware, I am listening to their conversations. They are talking about buying homes, credit scores, having children and what it is like to raise them. All I can immediately think to say is, “Your lives are so different than mine!!! You are talking about all of these amazing changes in your lives and I can relate to none of them. I’m just over like ‘Hey! I’m about to travel the world for a year serving others.'”
Here lately I have found myself at a crossroads of who I am and who I want to be. Some days I feel trapped at where I am with my life and ready to break away from the normal. This feeling of adventure and wonder sets in and has me ready to run away. Other days, I am so comfortable with my life I don’t want anything to change, and I love where I am and who I am. The thought of leaving the day to day life I have come to know would just be too hard. But is it fair for me to stay at a steady pace never changing, never growing and remaining comfortable with who I am? God has a planned designed for my life. Would I be glorifying Him if I just stood still? As Christians we are called to walk with Christ and know him. As I think about where I am in life and in my relationship with Christ I know that being comfortable isn’t always the best. There are seasons of life and seasons of change. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…”
How am I defined? Well, that depends on who you ask and on what day. Some have paid me high compliments and labeled me as fun, wise, loving, funny, giving, courageous, beautiful, independent and kind. Then there are the ones who have hurt me with words such as selfish, hypocrite, rude, inconsiderate, ugly and mean. Yes, I have been guilty of all of these traits and I’m sure plenty more. I think we can all admit we are not capable of being at our best every day. I even find myself being jealous of those who seem to shine with a personality that everyone loves and adores. Of course I have to remind myself that even those types of people have bad days.
Now as I decide on who I want to be I think about who Jesus calls us to be.
1 Corinthians 11:1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
Plain and simple, Jesus asks us to live like him. We are to be his followers. What an amazing role model! The man who came to this Earth showing great obedience and loyalty to our father in heaven. He showed humility, compassion, faithfulness, kindness, bravery and most of all LOVE to all that he encountered. What perfect adjectives to describe a life well lived. Those are the adjectives I want to be given when someone is asked to define me. Then there is the factor that I am human and many times I fail. But the beauty of failure is the opportunity to learn. Those are the times I find myself reaching further for God and relying more on Him. God loves us even at our worst and brings us up when we are down. One of my favorite songs is “Who am I”
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?
Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?
Most of all I am a child of God. I have been given this life to learn to love and give love just as Jesus did for us. I am so excited that I have been called by God to share His love with His people all around the world! So as I prepare for my season of change and growth, I pray that God instills in me Christ like characteristics. I want to be compassionate, kind, brave, obedient to Him, loving and faithful. I want to be a fruit of the spirit showing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control! Lord, take me to the valleys where I can grow and prosper these fruits and become more like you.
THANK YOU to all of you who have supported my journey and believing in God’s plan in my life. I am so grateful for this opportunity! An estimated 82 DAYS until LAUNCH!
