sometimes i sit a think about what my life would look like if i wasn’t on the race. sometimes i even think about what would’ve happened if i let shame take over my mind and make me back out and say no. the thoughts of being too broken for the Lord to use me consumed my heart. i’ve made too many mistakes over and over again so i am not capable or worthy of being used for the Lord’s kingdom. BUT THANKS TO GOD, He never asked for perfect. even though i stepped into His invitation with fear and shame, i am thankful to be apart of it. i can’t imagine being anywhere else but here. I know I was created for such a time as this. sometimes i sit and think about what i would’ve done if i said no just because my feet would not have been in Romania at the start of September. BUT THANKS TO GOD, the middle of the woods, Georgia was the exact place my heart needed. learning to live in the tent He prepared to meet me at is what i needed. to be broken down then restored and made new. my heart would not have been in a good place to try and pour out a love that i had not yet received.
if i said no to the opportunity to train in Georgia for 3.5 months, i would’ve missed out on the humility that came with taking bucket showers, hand washing laundry once a week, using overflowing porta potties, sleeping in a moldy tent and wearing moldy clothes. i would’ve missed out on seeing what true community looks like and learning how to fight for unity and to celebrate each other daily. i would’ve missed seeing how broken my very own country is and learning how to be the church in America today. and ultimately, i would’ve missed out on knowing how deeply loved i am. not just by the people i’m surrounded with, BUT GOD. learning to receive that love and walk in it daily so that it may be an overflow for others to experience.
i am currently writing this with a heart of gratitude. thankfulness to God and all the sweet things He gave me while being in Georgia. what a sweet invitation to say yes to, be apart of and experience His kingdom right in the middle of the woods in Georgia. though it’s not at all what i wanted or signed up for a year ago, i would not have wanted to be anywhere else. here’s to saying bye to the glory that Georgia brought to walking into the glory that God is preparing in Costa Rica. GLORY TO GLORY!
Gainesville, GA, you will always hold a piece of my heart. See ya in January, Costa Rica!!
