Because you're worth it. The famous L'Oreal slogan plays in my head as I scour the makeup aisle for new mascara, the only makeup I wear regularly in the heat of Thailand. Whenever the slogan plays, whether in a commercial or in my head as I see the brand name, I think of my mother.
She never liked it and made it clear whenever an ad flashed on our television screen. Her words were always something along the lines of, 'worth it? Worth what? A box of hair-dye, some cheap blush. They shouldn't tell women that,'. Being young and naive, I scoffed at her comments, believing they came from her own insecurities.
But my mother, speaking out of pure frustration, was unknowingly speaking a truth to me I would only realize and understand a dozen years later, when my own self-worth was challenged.
And that's what this month has held for me, a challenge. To discover my own worth, something I never realized I was missing. It took a week of ministry to the Thai women and male tourists on Bangla Road to see my self-worth had long been replaced with a deep black hole. I never expected those lost men and women to shine a light on my own brokenness, but that is exactly what they did. And it hurt.
I discovered I spent most of my life seeking validation and worth from people and things that would always fail me. I looked to friends, boys, and family for recognition and attention. I wanted to be wanted, to know that I was good enough. But no matter how many birthday parties I was invited to, dates I was asked out on, or how much praise I was given, I never felt good enough. I was looking for worth in all the wrong places.
Worth isn't something you earn or find in people, money, or success. It's a gift, given to you before you have a chance to do anything to earn it. It's given to you before anyone recognizes your talents or beauty, before you can succeed in anything, and before you can feel the pain of failure.
Unfortunately, it took me years of hurt, countless tears, and one week on Bangla Road to discover and feel my true worth. A worth that is beyond any price. A worth that cannot be lowered by any man, woman or circumstance. A worth that cannot be made higher by any success or achievement. A worth that no tube of mascara or cheap hair-dye can improve upon. Because my worth is perfect. A wonderfully perfect gift from my Father. More precious then rubies, and definitely more precious then anything L'Oreal can manufacture.
My mother was right.
Dear Mom,
Please consider this public declaration of you being right to be your gift this year.
Merry Christmas,
I love you!
