Doubt.
Few words hold as much power as that 5 letter word. I believe that one of the most powerful tools the enemy uses is doubt. The difficult thing about doubt, however, is that it is subtle. It comes like a shadow in the night, beginning as a seed that quickly becomes a weed.
Doubt causes us to debate God’s character and His intentions, never a moment sitting in the Truth that is not only present in His Word, but also history. If God is truly who He says He is, why would He allow so much pain and suffering? WHY would He answer prayers and give us things/people we have been praying for for YEARS, only to take them back?
Doubt causes us to sink into emotions and tangible things. We begin to believe that the person or thing standing in front of us is all we will get. How can something truly be worth it if we can’t see or feel it?
Doubt causes us to question the authenticity of God’s forgiveness. We might believe that God forgives the guy next to us, but NEVER me for THAT sin; it’s too big or it’s too unforgivable to be covered by the blood of Jesus. It causes us to sit in our past burdens and continuous shame. It makes us believe that next time will never be different that last time. How could He ever forgive me? How could He ever grow me so that next time will not just be a repeat of the past years?
Doubt causes us to not believe in His promises for our future or His plan for our lives. Instead, we believe that nothing will ever change and nothing will ever get better. It causes us to take matters into our own hands and abilities because “God isn’t big enough to handle this one”. This causes us to become settled in the unstable ground of doing life our way. Why would God ever ask me to do that or go there? What is worth the fight?
God is good. God is security. God is safety. God is reckless love. God is our Father. God is friendship. God is hope. God is the breath of fresh air when we are drowning. God is provider. God is I am. God is TRUTH, and no amount of doubt is too big for God and His TRUTH.
When we feel alone in the darkness, that no one is near and all you can do is cry, God is immanuel (God with us) and God is comforter. When we don’t understand why God does what He does and we begin to question who He is or who we are, He is omniscient (all-knowing) despite us being near-sighted. When we believe with all of our soul that we are unworthy and broken with no hope of healing, He is healer and took ALL sins upon his son as He was beaten and broken on that tree. When we believe that the good fight is not worth it and that there is no light at the end of the road and question why He would ever ask us to go to the other side of the world, He says, “My child, have I ever left or forsaken you? Have I ever not passionately pursued my daughter’s heart? Did I not take 9 months molding you in your mother’s womb to become holy and blameless before my eyes?”
A few weeks ago at Rev, I was crying out on my knees, shouting “I am done, God. I can’t keep doing this. I am right back where I was last year and nothing has changed. This is all for nothing. What even is the point?!” He clearly spoke to me that I’m not done because HE is not done with me. Till the day I meet Him face-to-face, He will continue to mold and transform and shape me into His son and no amount of doubt can survive when met with His Truth and justice. We need to begin calling doubt for what it is: a tactic by the enemy to separate us from God. Whether it comes in the form of insecurity, anxiety, fear, apathy (lack of caring=lack of pursuit in Him), hopelessness, etc. doubt separates us from God and must be covered in His undeniable Truth.
Doubt does not belong now nor ever.
-A
