After almost a year back in the United States I find myself just a few short days away from heading back out on the field, back to Africa.
How did I get here, and again? Here’s my story:
When I arrived back to America almost a year ago, I was so happy to be home. I was thrilled to see my family and friends, excited to sleep in a bed, and so happy to eat my beloved vegetables. Settling back into my American life felt good but it also felt hard. The transition was a roller coaster as I deeply missed my friends from The World Race, struggled with American opulence and felt physically ill as my body had been through so much the year prior. I had days of huge thankfulness as well as days of huge longing for the life I had left behind but clung to the deep transformation that had happened inside of me and beautiful memories of friends and experiences I acquired along the way. America was hard, but then after a few months it became easy, and comforting actually. I effortlessly slipped back into the lifestyle of clean gyms, healthy food, comfy beds and control over my surroundings. I love utilizing a hot shower every day and having clean clothes. I love seeing my family and friends on a regular basis and I love feeling pretty and presentable with makeup and my old clothes readily available.
A few months after my return, I went back to my previous employer, Carter’s, and began working on the Digital Marketing Team again. I happily worked alongside familiar friends and enjoyed the challenges of my new role. I also moved in with one of my dearest friends and lived amiably, sharing delicious dinners and evening chats. New Amy had settled comfortably into a life that looked a lot like old Amy’s but with a fresh outlook and new heart. I love and cherish this past year and all the sweet times it brought.
About six months into this comfortable and sweet season I received a message from a leader on my previous World Race Squad. He reached out asking if I would consider going back out on the field in a mentoring/discipleship position, fostering the health and caring for Racers who are embarking on The World Race for the first time. Jeremy, my previous leader, told me that The Lord laid me on his heart for this role and asked if I would consider praying about it. This role would entail five months abroad with the same conditions and expectations as before but this time I would enter The World Race as the “experienced” individual whose done this whole thing before. This time I would be expected to lead.
Mike drop.. oh no. Not again.
I remember reading that message and thinking to myself, “thanks but no thanks.” As many people know, I absolutely loved my World Race and wouldn’t trade that experience for anything, but that doesn’t mean I want to do it again. The World Race stretched me beyond what I thought was my capacity and threw me into so many challenges that shook me to the core. It grew me, and growth does not come easily. Growth comes from pushing into the hard stuff that you want to run away from, growth comes from fighting your emotions and making decisions based on truth and not just how you feel. Growth hurts – and I didn’t know if I was ready to sign up for that again.
I told Jeremy I would pray about it moved on with my life. A few months later though, I did pray about it. As soon as I asked the Lord what I should do about World Race #2 I heard Him say, “go.” I prayed for a few more months hoping the Lord would change his mind, but he did not and this prompting to go back out on the mission field became undeniable to me. My decision came down to one thing, I could walk in obedience or I could not, the choice was mine.
We all have free will, and there is nothing we can do to lose His love, so why have I chosen to go again? To choose what He calls me to, despite all the discomfort that comes with it, is right where I want to be. I know His will, not mine, is where life is fully lived.
So after months of saying no to the Lord I finally say yes. Now I’m going back, yes, back to the nations.
This decision came with sacrifices and even some heartache, but can I really talk about sacrifice when I’m doing this for the one who laid down his life for mine? When you think about it in this context, this is not a sacrifice at all. It is a privilege to walk in obedience and give what I have for the one who gave me everything he has – his only son. He is worthy of it all.
So here we go! At 5am on Monday morning I fly to South Africa where I will begin my five-month trek. First to South Africa, then Zambia, Zimbabwe, Malawi and finishing in Vietnam. My responsibility on this trip will be to lead a squad of thirty-seven 21-35 years-olds and walk with them through the first part of their journey. While I will be participating in ministry similar to what I did previously on The Race, my primary role will be the health and spiritual growth of my squad. I feel honored and terrified to take on this role but am excited to see what The Lord has for me in this new season.
Thank you so much to everyone who continues to walk with me though the crazy and beautiful life Christ designed for me. I will keep a blog of my travels again and look forward to updating everyone on what unfolds in this next chapter.
Sending all my love in my last few days stateside <3
Many people were traveling with Jesus. He said to them, “If you come to me but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower. You must love me more than your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters—even more than your own life! Whoever will not carry the cross that is given to them when they follow me cannot be my follower.”
Luke 14:25-27
