I’ve been on The World Race for ten months, but I feel like I’ve learned ten years’ worth of lessons.
I have experienced some of the most joyous times in my life but simultaneously, walked through devastation. While thinking back on these moments one aspect has remained constant in my ever-changing world – community. I’ve lived alongside over forty different people day in and day out for almost a year. I sleep, eat, breath and everything in-between with these people and this squad has become my family. I love each person dearly and have learned some massive life lessons from many of them. Yes, these strangers turned best friends have shaped me in a multitude of ways but one of the biggest justices they have done is prepare me for marriage and my future husband. Living in 24/7 community isn’t easy, but I truly believe I will carry many of these lessons with me and my future marriage will be better off because of it.
So, here we go! Here’s all the ways I believe The World Race has prepared me for that special someone.
- Communicating positives and negatives in a healthy way. On the race we practice a fun little activity called feedback. Feedback is a time of getting together as a team and “calling each other higher.” This means, applauding someone when they’ve excelled at something but also bringing the difficult topics to light. Feedback is a time to let a teammate know if they’ve hurt you or if you’ve seen them acting in a way that isn’t true to their character. Yes, I know you might be cringing at the thought of looking your best friend (or husband) in the eye and telling them the way they snapped at you earlier hurt you but trust me – expelling those seeds of bitterness before they have time to grow fosters a healthy and happy environment. I’ve seen how avoiding difficult topics can be extremely harmful to relationships and although talking through them is harder at first, the relationship becomes much stronger if you choose to push into those moments.
- Choosing to see the best in people and not focusing on imperfections. Everyone has imperfections, everyone. I’ve learned that we all have a choice in how we are going to handle the things we don’t like about someone. We can focus on the negatives or annoyances and think about them until we can’t see strait anymore or we can choose different. We can choose to find the good in people. Yes, everyone has imperfections, but the opposite is true as well – everyone has something good in them. Many of you might be thinking of that one person in your life that has nothing good to offer, but I promise you, if you keep looking you’ll be able to find something. I’m choosing to find the good and remind myself of those traits when the annoyances or negatives are coming through loud and proud. I have a multitude of pet peeves now that I’ve lived in constant community for ten months, but I also know pet peeves are possible to get past.
- Sharing. Ah, sharing. I thought I was a good at sharing before I came on the race, but this year has pushed me to my limits and taken sharing to a whole new level. I’ve shared it all people, my food, my tent, my bed, all my clothes, any hygiene product I own, my medication, really anything and everything. On the race certain items become gold, like peanut butter or protein bars. I’ve even shared those things! It’s still not always easy giving away items that are rightfully mine, but it helps me to remember they’re just things, and I can live without them.
- Accepting all the strange smells of life. Okay, this is real – I’ve smelled some seriously disturbing things on the race. From weird food to deodrantless people to pungent farts to my old teammate Matt’s feet, I’ve smelled it all. I still don’t understand why deodorant is only a popular hygiene product in the United States, but I have learned to happily live with it. Smelly farts are a very real part of life on the race because let’s face it, sometimes we have to eat strange things and it affects everyone’s body in a different way. So bring it on future husband, you will be hard pressed to throw a smell at me that is more upsetting than most of the fragrances I have already endured throughout these last ten months.
- Practicing Patience. Patience is a virtue that is impossible not to learn on the race. You have to practice patience every day. We spend hours and hours and hours waiting. Waiting for transportation, waiting for information, waiting for our translator to understand what we’re saying so he can then relay the message, waiting to get in a bus and drive to a place so you can get there and wait some more. The waiting game is an unavoidable and I’ve learn to find peace in those situations instead of letting annoyance depict my emotions or attitude.
- Giving Grace. We all need grace. It is a fundamental piece of a healthy relationship and learning to give and receive grace can be a game changer. We are all going to mess up. As hard as it is for me to admit when I do, I mess up. I wish I was perfect but unfortunately, I’ve had to ask for grace on the race and I know I will have to ask for it again. When I say “I do” one day I am promising that I will love my husband forever and try my hardest, but I am also promising that I will make mistakes. My promise to mess up will come with an omission that I am not going to be a perfect wife and a request for grace when those times come. As much as I receive, I will hope to return the same grace to him to ten-fold.
- Speaking out expectations. Expectations, we have them but most of us rarely speak them. We expect a lot from the people around us and I’ve noticed that many individuals fall short of my expectations without even knowing I have them. I believe there’s power in telling the person you’re doing life with what you’re expecting out of them. Whether that’s taking out the trash, making coffee if they’re the first one out of bed or just presenting a shoulder to cry on when necessary. If they know, they are much more likely to do those things and you won’t find yourself wishing they “would act a certain way or do a certain thing.” It’s simple, just tell them what’s in your heart.
- Knowing who I am and loving myself fully. I am confident, I am strong, I am a treasure, I am beautiful, I am a daughter of the Lord Most Hight and I deserve the best. I believe this statement for myself and every other woman in the world. I’ve always felt like a confident person, but the race has taught me how to find my identity in one thing alone, my Father in heaven. Yes, I desire a husband and partner to walk through life with and to love, but he will not complete me. I have been completed by The Lord and a relationship will not change that. A relationship will not make or break me. I will not be defined by a relationship because I am defined by something so much greater than that. I know who I am and that allows me to love myself fully and loving myself fully will allow me to one day love my husband fully. I will not lay the burden of my completion on his shoulders, because someone has already done that job.
I don’t know if it will be a year or ten until my guy comes into my life but what I do know is I feel more prepared for him now than I ever have before. In the meantime, I’ll keep praying, keep learning and keep sharing my lessons learned abroad with all those willing to read.
Sharing my heart from Kigali, Rwanda <3
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
