Traveling from Honduras to The Philippines got the best of me.
After five long flights in four-ish days, I started to develop a little bit of a cold. Didn’t seem like too big of a deal; I get colds pretty frequently. I even considered it to just be allergies so I figured it would go away on it’s own. The first two days at the ministry site, my teammates told me if I wasn’t feeling well I could go rest. I would reply, “Yeah that’s a good idea, I probably should.” And never did. I felt okay enough so I pushed through.
On the third day of ministry here with Kids International Ministries, they were hosting a Christmas party for over 600 kids from surrounding neighborhoods. That morning we spent hours in the sun delivering presents to the families of the attending kids, then came back and prepared for the party. We then did hours of registration and then hours of songs and games.
Halfway through one of the games, I started to feel nauseous, weak, shaky, and dizzy. I told my teammate I was feeling weak and probably needed to eat, so I went inside and got myself a plate of rice.
When I went to sit and eat, I saw three strangers sitting around the table. I sat with them, introduced myself and started eating. My hand was violently shaking as I tried to spoon rice into my mouth. One of the women noticed and asked if I was okay. I told her what was wrong and she told me she was a nurse and I was dehydrated. She prepared for me a giant plate of fruit and offered to make me a hydration drink, as well as some oils to clear up my sinuses.
These three women were only visiting the ministry site for a couple of hours before their next flight to Manila. Looking back, I truly believe the Lord put these women in my path to help me; things could have been so much worse.
Once they left though, I went back out to the party. I didn’t want to miss out on the rest of the party and I didn’t want my team to think I was skipping out. That night I told myself I would take it easy, but the next morning I woke up and went to church and spent the afternoon at the mall. Right after lunch at KFC, I hit an all time low. I had never felt like that before- like my whole body was shutting down. I finally caved and asked the host to take me to the doctor. That afternoon, he took me to the hospital to do some tests. Thankfully it wasn’t anything too serious so I was able to just get some prescriptions and be on my way.
I took a couple of days to actually rest and had a lot of time to think. How did I let it get that bad? Why did I push myself past my limit?
God brought it to my attention just how badly I want to be the god of my life. I like to think I am invincible, that I have no limits. In order to humble me and show me I cannot be everything to everyone, He had to literally shut my body down. It forced me to rest and face my limitations.
People don’t need me, they need God. And I need God too.
Hebrews 4:9-11
“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from His. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.”
Resting doesn’t make me weak.
Rest is necessary- it isn’t selfish.
What is selfish is thinking things won’t get done unless I am there.
Even God rested, so what makes me think that I don’t need it?
I can’t fully be myself and give myself to others if I don’t take care of myself.
