Have you ever wanted something so badly, you couldn’t wait to get it? Think back to Christmas as a child (maybe even now) You couldn’t wait to get that one gift. That one special gift you wrote down on every list and imagined yourself opening on Christmas morning. We all know what happened in a few months, maybe even a week later. That special gift lost it’s…special. It wasn’t shinny anymore and you realized it was only fun for awhile. Three years ago I couldn’t believe my first job after college was going to be with one of the most well known brands in the apparel industry. A small town girl, moves to New York City, and lands a job she only dreamed of having sounds like a plot for an awesome chick flick. Yet 3 years later, my job has lost its shine. Something changed.
I started to look for new jobs with higher pay and a higher title. I wanted something new, the next step up the fashion industry ladder. I prayed that God would ignite my passion and provide a job for me. It seemed like the right move to make but every time I went to sketch new designs for my portfolio, I ended up with a sheet full of erased lines. Did I lose my passion for fashion? I started to question my desire to look for another fashion position. Was that really what I wanted? If my job had lost it shine and newness, wouldn’t any other job? My prayer went from “God give me a job” to “God, what is your will for my life?” See, the change that had happened took place in my heart. In my frustration with looking for a new job, God showed me a new me. He exposed parts of my heart that hadn’t been seen. He was starting to break down walls and rebuild. My relationship with Him is stronger than it was 3 years ago and so is my desire to follow Him where ever He may lead.
I was on the train one day, on my way to work, when I asked myself “If money didn’t matter and I could do anything, what would it be?” My answer was simple. I would travel the world and help people. I wanted to go on an adventure. That was the Ah Ha moment I needed! If that was the desire on my heart, than why wasn’t I asking God to fulfill that dream? I had been looking at things from the worlds perspective. The world says “the more money you have the more successful you are.” God says “what good is the gaining the whole world if you lose yourself?”
Matthew 16:24-27 Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.
God has answered my prayers and is taking me on an adventure to travel the world and help people. This is me taking a step of faith and trusting that God knows more about the purpose for my life than I do. If my only desire is to do His will, I CAN’T STAND STILL!
