Today felt different. I went into church feeling heavy, like bad heavy. I had an unknown anger in my heart, negative thoughts rested on my mind. Where was this coming from? I tried to clear my mind but these thoughts kept entering, unwanted anger over little things, jealousy over nonsense. I went into our room, plugged into my iPod and hit shuffle. An upbeat song came on but it did nothing to make me smile. Next thing I know, it's church time. Fake smile it is.
As I walked into church, I choose a pew that no one was at. I wanted to be alone. Within a minute, Sarah joined me because Sundy, one of the Legacy staff, said she should sit next to me so that we could get a picture. I told her she didn't have to sit by me if she didn’t want to… She stayed. I tried to get into worship once we started. I was holding back. As I thought about it, it felt like a lot of people were holding back. There was a wall in the way today. I thought about leaving church, stepping outside for a few minuets. I couldn't think of an excuse.
Pastor stopped worship a minute into the first forced song. He announced that something was holding back the congregation. He prayed for whatever was holding us back to leave the room. I felt guilty. This was in part my fault; my heart wasn't here, my mind was lost. I prayed to The Lord in tongues, I needed Him to hear me; I didn't want satan interrupting my message for Him. The Lord entered my thoughts with images of walls. Walls that were falling down. In front of those fallen walls, others were being built up. I heard The Lord say to break down the walls. My walls. Then he told me I needed to share this word. Within seconds pastor got to the front of the congregation and interrupted worship again but this time was different. He said that someone here today had a word to share… I waited hoping that it was someone else. Then as no one approached the pulpit he came back again and said that person may be nervous but that they should get up and share.
Without a second thought my legs carried me up to the front where I shared the word the Lord had given me, there were walls that needed to be broken down. People were being held back from all The Lord had to offer them. Satan was trying to build walls that were preventing full access to the Lord and what He has for me, for us, for this church, this community.
I proclaimed the words and visions The Lord has shared with me. I proclaimed them with boldness and authority. And I felt them. I felt the walls in this place falling down. Tears of joy were shed, sounds of praise were raised up, the Holy Spirit had entered the church in full force, the atmosphere was changed. As I left the pulpit the best part of the day was occurring up on stage.
Words began flying from Benjho's mouth, words he had never said before. This unsuspecting 15-year old was about to have his life rocked. He was strumming on the bass with vigor and screaming words of praise through declarations in tongues. After a minute he was down, filled with the Holy Spirit.
Benjho had finally released control of his life. The words that satan tried to convince me not to say were the words The Lord wanted to use to allow this man to experience Him in a way unlike any other. Praise the Lord for His persistence in my life and in that moment.
After service was over, I set down with Benjho. I needed to pray over him and seal what happened. I wanted to share the experience I had and answer any questions he might have. Turns out two other times in his life he had felt this almost happen (just like me), but he wouldn't allow it to occur. Today he was freed from himself and he allowed
The Lord to take the wheel. His life will never be the same.
