There is NO going back

I am entering into
more of the Spirit’s presence than I have ever in my life. When I pray I feel
anointed and as if the Spirit is whispering in my ear and invading my thoughts
to give me His thoughts. I am outside of myself and in the presence of the Lord
that is breathing life into me and lighting me on fire. I am consumed. I am
entering into His glory and Holy ground. I am not worthy to sit before Him but
He has mercy on me and allows me to see and hear Him in this new way. The glory
of it all overwhelms me. Things will never be the same. Everything has changed.
I will never be the same.

Our last day at the
slums we had a revival. A worship leader from a larger church in Penom Penh
came and lead praise. TR brought the presence of God into the slums and we
entered into the Spirit. Prayer was constant there. God would place people on
our hearts and we would intercede for them. God pushed me out of my freaking
comfort zone. Literally 2 days before I had said I am not ready to speak in
front of people and until God tells me I am not going to.  Well, that God told me
a lot earlier than I expected. I am literally laughing to myself because it
feels like my best friend saying… I told you so. I told you I would ask this of
you and be there with you the entire time. And He was. I was afraid. I was
afraid my words wouldn’t speak enough truth or life. And mine didn’t. But God’s
did. God flowed through me while I was speaking I really didn’t even want to
get up even though I knew Gold told me to. In my head I said, I’ll wait the
praise is so awesome right now. God said, Go NOW. I move towards the stage and
TR starts talking. I say, I’ll wait; he needs to talk. God said, Go NOW. So,
with a little fear and a lot of pushing I went. And God spoke through me. Most
of what I said was inspired from Francis Chan’s podcast on the Holy Spirit; but
God used my heart and voice to speak His truth. It was amazing. God proved me
wrong. I can speak in front of people, but only when it is His voice flowing
through me and not my own

Healings happened.
People came to Christ. Men and women gave their testimonies. They challenged
their community to come to Christ. They shared their struggles and told how
Christ conquered them. The power of the Spirit overtook us all. We were in His
holy place and there was no denying it. God drew His people to the revival.
Without knowing why they were there or why they felt like they should come, God
drew them there. The Spirit fell on them. I don’t know how to put into the
words the beauty of it all, but it was amazing. It was the best day I have had
on the race so far and honestly one of the best days of my life.

There is one great
love. Jesus. Those words have new meaning. I am learning there is no other love
greater than His. No other love as consuming. No other source of life. There is
no other. There is only the I Am. I feel like I am learning how to live a new
and different life after this month. I am learning to depend on God. I am learning
that He will pour into me when I pour more into Him. I can’t go back. I can’t
live without this new source of life. I want to go deeper in. I want the Spirit
more than ever. He is drawing me deeper into His Holy place and I am holding
His hand and running in with child-like faith. I used to think the Spirit was
just there and it wasn’t that we could have more of it, but it was just there.
That is not true. The deeper you are connected to the Lord, the deeper you are
connected to the Son, and the deeper you are connected to the Spirit means the
deeper you are in His presence.

Do you know the Holy
of Holy’s? Do you know how much God wants to lavish His love on you? This is
way beyond just going to church, reading your Bible, and being a good
Christian. This is freedom. This is crying out to the Lord what is on your
heart and waiting for Him to answer. This is praying with the Spirit speaking
His truth into you. This is not recognizing where you are going or who you are
becoming because this is following Christ. This is abandoning yourself to
become new. This is saying less of me and more of you. This is not listening to
your own thoughts but listening to our Father’s thoughts and only speaking
those. This is a new life. He is the remedy. This life is offered to everyone.
You can have this life of freedom.

There is no going back!