So…I havent blogged since I began the WR. I thought for sure it would be easier once I got on the field. We would be doing all of these amazing things and having awesome encounters with God. Lots and lots to share. Well, it didnt really feel like that for me in Ecuador. It was a super tough first month. I was struggling with making connections with my team mates, we werent interacting or ministering directly to people the way that I was expecting, and it was more difficult to have alone time with Jesus than it was back home. Don’t get me wrong. There were great things too. I was in Quito, Ecuador! (which was so beautiful,) we were staying at a homey hostel with the most amazing people, and our ministry contacts were so so generous and wonderful. I love them and miss them already. But, I was feeling homesick and empty the entire month.
“Homesick and empty” Great thing to blog about right?
Squadmates and my squad leaders kept telling me to share what I was going through with people back home. I just couldnt bring myself to do it. I didnt want to be a bummer.
A few days ago I spent some time thinking and praying about why it was so difficult for me to blog about all of this. I just kept thinking “I dont want to burden them” and immeadiately God brought the verse about bearing eachothers burdens to mind. I realized that I have absolutely no issue with helping bear someone elses burden but I struggle big time with allowing others to help me bear mine.
If I would have blogged or communicated this with my amazing community back home and all those who support me sooner, my month in Ecuador might have looked much different. It wouldnt have been a bummer or a burden. It would have provided an opportunity for those who care about and love me to encourage me and lift me and my situation up in prayer.
The truth is that life is way easier back home in every way. But, I was called to this and brought to this by God. He is a good good Father who gives only good gifts even when they dont feel so good.
I doubt all of the time if I can handle this. Well, I can’t handle it. I dont have to. Not on my own. I have all of you who I know will pray for me and have already been so supportive. More importantly I have Jesus in whose strenth I can do all things.
He brought me to it, he will bring me through it, and its gonna be great…its gonna be wild…its gonna be full of Him!
PS. Things have been so so much better this month!
