I was reminded today of the story in Luke 7 that tells of a woman who heard that Jesus was eating at a Pharisee’s house in her city and went to him. This woman was known, by the Pharisee, to be a sinner. I don’t know how he so quickly knew that of her, but he did…Anyway, this woman went to Jesus, wept at his feet, washed and anointed his feet with precious ointment, and kissed them. The Pharisee formed a judgement against Jesus and doubted, thinking that if Jesus was who he said he was, he would not have let that type of woman touch him. Jesus goes on to say that those who are forgiven of little, love little. But, that this woman, whose sins are many, has been forgiven of much, so she loves much.
I don’t think it’s that the woman had actually done more sinning or been forgiven of more sins. James 2:10 says that if you have offended in one point you are guilty of all. The Pharisee is just as much a sinner as the woman, he just didn’t recognize it, causing him to have no compassion or love for the woman and no thankfulness or love for Jesus. The woman recognized who she was in comparison to Jesus and couldn’t help but weep at his feet, humbled and thankful, with overwhelming love for him.
For the majority of my life, I had been like the Pharisee. Internally I thought things like: “Of course Jesus would want to fellowship with me, I’m so good”. I focused on my works and reputation rather than the grace of God. I feigned compassion and love on those I viewed to be “sinners”. It wasn’t true in my heart.
For years I was walking in my flesh, pretending that I wasn’t. I was being unfaithful to God, who was constantly faithful to me. In the last year especially, I have come to realize how sinful and undeserving of a relationship with Jesus I really am. I could say that I wish that I had not done what I have or struggled with the sins that I did, but thats hard because I can now say that through those sins and struggles, and the consistent and undeserved forgiveness, grace, mercy, love, comfort, and faithfulness, granted to me by God, I have been humbled. It has caused me to fall deeply in love with him and has given me a much greater compassion and love for those “sinners” who are broken, hurting, and in need of restoration or redemption through Christ.
I am blown away everyday by the grace of God and that he would use me, in my utter weakness, to demonstrate is strength. It often leads me to tears and weeping (in the absolute best way), like it did for the woman. My sins, which are many, are forgiven!
