"We are not called to be successful but to be faithful" ~ Mother Tereasa
That is one of my favorite quotes. I love it because it's truth. God doesn't call us to be successful by world's standards He calls us to be faithful. Everyone has a different definition of success but the only thing that matters to God is that we're following Him. We are being faithful to Him. He tells us He is a jealous God in Exodus 20 and Joshua 24. He want's all of us including our expectations.
Adventures in Mission's tells us to write about our expectations early on, I did. I wrote about my expectations for the race but as I've progressed I've realized I didn't write them all. I still had expectations in my heart about the countries. Things I thought would happen and expectations about how I would feel. I'll tell you one major expectation I've had to drop that I would be the exception to the rule and be completely healthy during the race. That I would somehow escape getting sick. That expectation was blown when I had a parasite in Guatemala (month 1), then food poisoning in Honduras (month 2), and now Hepatitis A starting in Honduras but majorly affecting me in Nicaragua (month 3).
Being sick this month and as sick as I've been has been rough. My energy is low pretty much daily. I have to rest a lot. This brings me to another expectation that I would be able to handle it. I know I wrote that I expected to be broken, but I wasn't expecting it to be through the convoy of my health. This month I've had to completely rely on God to be my strength. Thankfully just as He says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficent for you, for power is perfected in weakness." and at the end of verse 10 it says "for when I am weak, then I am strong." This month I've been weaker than I'd care to admit. I've also been frustrated way more than I'd care to admit.
Which brings me to another expectation that I held back. I expected Nicaragua to be my month. I've wanted to come to Nicaragua since high school. Timing was off and I didn't make it till 11 years later. Don't get me wrong my expectations of how beautiful the country and people are, were blown out of the water. Nicaragua is a beautiful country with a rich history. The kids and people here are beautiful and truly searching for more. It breaks my heart for how much they are searching. I had the expectation that this would be a month I would soar and yet I've struggled. What's cool about expectations is that while we have all these notions, crazy ideas about how things will go God knows. He knows what will happen, why it will happen, how we'll react, what we'll do, and He won't laugh at us when our expectations fail us. He's there for us every step of the way.
I've had to drop my expectations this month. The expecations I held for myself. I've had to learn my limits. I've had to drop my expectations for a country. God has called me to faithfully serve Him, wherever I am, whomever I'm with, all the time, just as I am. His expectation for me is to serve Him, so while I'm dropping my expecations and learning what it means to completely rely on Him and have my strength come from Him, I'm learning to walk where God has called me, and walk in who He is calling me to be.
For Future Racers a P.S.
I write this knowing full well many of you have written all your expectations. Many of you have felt you've been completely honest about those expectations but don't be surprised and don't let expectations that you've quietly held on to, keep you from experiencing the race. Be willing to drop them as you uncover them. When you let go and let God do His crazy God things, you're going to be amazed! Enjoy the race and enjoy the little moments! They are amazing! Like when you and your teammate can't sleep because the room is stuffy and it starts to rain outside so in your pjs you run outside to play and have a great conversation even if it is midnight! 🙂 Those are the best and most precious moments!
