Don’t worry…I AM ALIVE! After one amazing time in the villages of Cambodia, I am back to internet! I hope that y’all had one incredible Christmas!!! So, sit back, kick your shoes off, eat some skittles and yummy Christmas goodies for me, and get ready to read about all that Papa has done…
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:…”
Eccleasiastes 3:1.
As I sit here in my treehousesk church in the middle of rural Cambodia, I find myself in a new season of life. This season is one of following instead of leading. With new teams at hand, God saw it fit to raise up new team leaders as well as squad leaders. You see, the coat that God had given myself and the other team leaders were beginning to become a little snug, (1 Samuel 2:18-21) and it was time for a new one. I, personally, was beginning to become way too comfortable in this season of leadership and who wants that?!
So, here I am trying to find my role on this new team. I will admit that the first week was no walk in the park; espeically, since three of my old team members are still a part of my team. I struggled. It was hard. You see, all my life I have been in some form of leadership role whether that was captain of a sports team or a resident assistant in college. Needless to say, it felt like a part of me was stripped away. But, why?
Low and behold, God began to show me the root of these feelings. I realized that part of my identity became glued to any and all leadership positions. As I let God take me there, He began to reveal to me diffferent hurts from childhood that I was not fully free from. (funny how the past can have so much power) All throughout my life, I just wanted people to notice me. I began to derive my worth and significance from this. By being involved in things, people noticed me more…or so I thought. On and off throughout my life I somehow believed that if I were not in some sort of “leadership” position then I would never be noticed. What a lie! I got caught up in seeking approval, my worth, and signifance from man instead of PAPA.
Before, this lie was stealing part of my identity. Truth of the matter is that I AM NOTICED; MY PAPA sees me. I DO NOT NEED MAN’S APPROVAL. MY ACCEPTANCE COMES FROM CHRIST ALONE. If at the end of the day everyone turned their backs on me, Papa would still be there. He will never leave me. He delights in me. I am His favorite! My identity is in Christ. You see, I never would have fully learned about this lie if I were still a team leader. God had to take me out in order to bring me into His almighty presence (Deuteronomy 6:23). I had to come out so He could open my eyes up to this false identity.
Needless to say, I am super excited for this season of life. In all honesty, before I went to training camp I was telling my friend Kylee how excited I was to be free from responibilities and at the time, God had other plans. Well, here I am free from those responsibilities and ready to be undignified before the Lord. I am excited to fall even more madly in love with the Lord as this journey unfolds. Being a leader was no bed of roses, but God sure did teach me so much (perhaps a later blog). I am excited to watch my new team leader and dear friend grow into her new coat right alongside me.
Without further adieu, here is my lovely team. Drum roll please…Samara Murtaugh coming in with a brand new coat that drags on the ground (Team Leader), Sarah Bousquet with the nicest coinpurse this side of Meekon River (biggest river in Asia), Erin Thames with a scroll of encouraging words and guitar cords, Kelsie Funk with a smile that will knock anyone’s socks off, Katie Hines with the moves that will give Beyounce a run for her money, and myself. We are Team UNDIGNIFIED and ready to dance ‘naked’ before the Lord!
