It is normal to walk on dusty roads and have dirty feet. It no longer bothers me having to wash my feet every night before bed. Living in a tent, showering with a bucket, and peeing in a hole has become a lifestyle. The scars on my legs aren’t as bad when I think of the reasons why they are there—for the sake of the gospel. Choking on mosquito spray, trying weird food, cramming in forms of transportation, and listening to long sermons in another language have begun to take on their own meaning of blessings. #worldracestyle
When was the last time you sweat in church? Today in service I was wearing so much fabric and singing and moving around that I was sweating. Sitting on stage behind the pastor, I watched the women of India sing to the Lord and it was beautiful.
The place I thought would be the worst on the race was actually perfect for the middle of my race. We are half way done with this journey, and at times it can get a little tiring. However, India has begun to recharge me. Even among the funky smells, the spicy food, and the major differences in culture, the presence of God is evident in the praises of His people here. They sing, shout, dance, and pray from the depths of their soul. Before worship even starts they are face down on the floor, fully covered by their saris. Not to mention how beautiful and colorful the saris are, each one representing the uniqueness we possess as God’s daughters.
I am going to totally change subjects for a minute to let you into my heart. Like I said a little bit ago, the race can get a little tiring, and I have been feeling the weariness. Think about it with me. You go to a new culture every 30 days, where you adjust to a new schedule, a new ministry, a new climate, a new people, a new language, new food (which means new bathroom habits), and new cultural customs. You are stuck with the same people—that you didn’t choose, but that were chosen for you—and you do life together in close quarters 24.7. Don’t get me wrong, I love my team and we have learned how to love each other better the more we get to know one another.
But the other day I was struggling with one teammate in particular, then the Holy Spirit encountered me. My heart had become calloused because of the ways I had stored up bitterness that I didn’t even know was there. Time and time again I had left things unsaid and just tried to deal with the pain that was being caused on my own. But when things all piled on each other there was no more hiding how I was hurting and retreating emotionally and spiritually. While talking with my teammate, the Lord provided so much grace and reconciliation to the both of us. We want to continue to spur each other on, we want to be able to get to the nitty-gritty and still love each other past it and we want to push each other in the areas we need growth. The conversation ended well, the heaviness was lifted and a fresh start is ahead of us with communication lines open. We won’t let anything mess with our friendship because we know what we have is a gift from God.
Now back to the service this morning. During worship I was convicted of my bitterness again and was led to ask for forgiveness. I will no longer allow things to build between me and a friend. Vulnerability, even if it gets ugly is what is going to breed intimacy and growth. I don’t want to have a hard heart. God softened me in that moment with his forgiveness and grace and I felt a refreshing freedom come over me.
I have experienced a new measure of Christ. His holiness keeps me in awe. As the people around me cried out to God in a language that I did not understand my joy was restored. All that was left to do was jump and sing what few phrases I could grasp. There is such a beauty and reverence in the house of the Lord. "Halleluiah," as pastor would say.
I thought India would be the hardest, but God works in mysterious ways and India, although difficult, is restoring me. Well not just India, God in India, but you know what I mean. My digestive system works properly here, unlike everyone else’s. I feel beautiful and unique in my sari. Resolution with a friend took place because of a movement of the Holy Spirit. I finished memorizing Philippians Chapter 1. I actually like the food here. My boyfriend continues to pursue me, encourage me, and make me feel so loved. Pastor K and Diamond, our contacts, take care of us like their own children. I got to skype my family the other day, including gma. I have met countless pregnant women and gotten to pray over their bellies. Pastor gave me the privilege of sharing the word with his church. God has softened my heart and continues to sweep over me with His sweet presence. The music and beats in church are way too fun. And my team as a whole is walking in new joy. God is doing something new in me, those are just a few of the ways, and I am so thankful!
