This morning (9/17) I washed dishes and got a revelation. This sweet girl, Elizabeth, taught me to wash dishes like they do. She grabbed dirt from the ground and used her hand to scrub the pot to get the ashes off. Her hand and the pot turned black, but then I watched her hand and the pot come clean as she rinsed them under the spout. Woah, God does the same with us. Sometimes we have to get dirty before we can get clean. I am so glad He is willing to reach down into my messiness to scrub me and get me clean.
One of my favorite sayings is that my mess is my message, so glad my God is a Redeemer. I had always been a people pleaser and had a low self-esteem. When I was a sophomore in high school I didn’t want much to do with Jesus. I lost myself in a relationship that year and was left feeling used and broken. Thankfully the summer before my junior year the Lord met me at the Nazarene Youth Convention, which just was so “conveniently” that summer even though it only takes place every four years. (Hint: that was totally God) Early in the week Lonna Vopar spoke to about who was holding my mirror. Since I had let the world hold it for so long, my perception of myself was so distorted. I understood that real beauty is love for the Lord that radiates from within. I gave my mirror to God that day. He is the only one that defines my worth. Friday night Reggie Dabbs preached from Luke 15. Luke 15 became my story. As soon as I stepped out of my seat in service to go meet my Father at the altar, he ran to me, picked me up, hugged me, kissed me, put a robe around me to clean and cover my bruised body, put sandals on my feet to heal them from the broken path, and put a ring on my finger to claim me as his daughter. There was still a lot of healing that needed to happen but the Lord continued to use people around me to bring me more into Himself and an understanding of the Holy Spirit. The summer before my sophomore year in college I found the House of Prayer in Bloomington where I began to experience the power and presence of God. I want the world to know the one true God who brings healing, restoration, who brings peace and joy in the midst of confusion and stress. I love living life with my Jesus.
There is so much more to say about what God has done for me but ill leave you with the most recent. I am still caught up in the word eucharisteo, which means thanksgiving. I am becoming one with God by continually choosing to look for each of my graces/blessings/gifts throughout the day and giving thanks for them and I am being filled with joy. Try it yourself. In the morning thank God for waking you up. In the middle of the day thank Him for the one tree with purple flowers in the midst of all the brown. Thank Him for the people who love you and encourage you (I am thankful for my family, boyfriend, and friends who continue to pour love into me). Thank him for the tea before bed, sleeping in a cozy sleeping bag on a mat on the ground next to three great girlfriends, for electricity and water that are unreliable, for a muffin, for crammed public transportation, lipgloss, babies that are scared of white people, learning to get creative cooking over a fire, handshake after handshake, and dusty kids that you just can’t get enough of. Thank Him for the good the bad the pretty the ugly and the hard, and your senses will begin to come alive with a refreshing joy!
