I wrote a blog a few days ago… “Three Month Overview” and I was expressing my frustration that I was so mad, hurt, disappointed, upset, depressed that I have been home and not with my squad…not in Africa.
Well, God has been showing me a LOT… being patient with me… revealing life back to me…
Showing me His true character… teaching me that He is a good God…
He has pulled me out of the darkness, the grips of death and He has changed/changing my harden heart…
And maybe.. Just maybe…
He showed me just one reason why I came home.
A lot of the reasoning I was so passionate about going on the Worldrace… was the unique opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life. And somehow, I put constraints and limitations on that… sounds weird and skewed, I know.. But.. When people become so “goal oriented”…they tend to lose sight of the whole plan/goal overall.
So, somehow…in order to make a difference in someone’s life…they had to be from a particular country, a certain race, a different culture… I somehow convinced myself that I was only capable of making a difference in someone’s life…only if they looked different than me. My only identity was in “international missionary” and that’s where I am effective and operational.
Well, obviously, that is not God’s plan or design for salvation. He came for all. Not just the homeless in central America… not just the gypsies in eastern Europe.. .not just the orphans in Africa… not just the enslaved in Asia…
And…He created me to love all of His children… not just those outside of the United States. He has been so patient in teaching me this… breaking that my ‘only’ identity and purpose is in international mission. He has been showing me that my identity is in HIM.
And, I am capable, qualified, commanded and called to love, share, be hands and feet, make a difference in someone’s life, bring glory to God….right here.
An older man came into the store where I work… as always, I ask my customers how they are. He was not quick to respond the usual, “fine…” “I’m good”…ect/generic answers… He just continued to look at the floor. I thought that he may not have heard me. I waited a few seconds…
“Sir, are… you… umm…alright?”
He looked up at me… tears in his eyes.
Stunned to see something so unexpectedly… I panicked another quick, “Are you alright, sir?!”
He uttered a “yes”…and then went back to looking at the floor.
I came around from the check out corner and put my hand on his shoulder… I did not know what else to do.. I asked him if there was anything I could do or help him with…
He looked at me… one single tear rolling down his face….
He said, “my wife of 63 years died recently.”
My heart just sank.
I offered him my apologizes, sympathy and concern.
But, then… all the sudden… I felt the Holy Spirit in me, around that little space in the store.
And, it hit me. That man wasn’t looking for any of that… any of those subtle cares or friendly gestures.
He was looking for something more.
I asked him if I could pray over him and for him…
And we did. Right there in the check out line of the store.
It was definitely a God divine appointed moment. No interruptions, no other customers. Just me, him and the Holy Spirit.
And later on… I just had such a peace and understanding about the day…and why I was home.
It was like God said, “if your goal and passion this year was to make a difference in someone’s life…you just did.”
And…maybe… just maybe… that man is why I am in Alabama instead of Africa.
Dear Lord,
Please forgive me where and when I have been so caught up in myself that I have missed opportunities to serve you, to bring you glory. God I pray that you will bring me more divine appointments, more Kingdom moments into my life. Please help me realize the opportunities before me. Help me to see them. I want to be used for you…wherever I am at. Thank you God for bringing that awesome Kingdom moment, that encouragement into my life. I pray that you continue to bring your peace and comfort to Mr. Pete. Thank you God for being a God in control…and a God that loves.
In your name that brings opportunity,
Amen.
