So, God wants me to be a nurse. At first, I was really relieved! Finally, a direction and a path…and a reason behind my sickness!
(Way cool)
But, then, my flesh decided to start doubting. Could I really do this? Am I smart enough? Dedicated enough? …..ready to go back to school… again? It started to seem overwhelming and fear crept in. What if I start on this path and I “fail” here too? What if I find out that I’m not cut out to do this kind of work? What if I don’t finish? The “what ifs” started rolling in!
But, that’s when I realized I had a choice. I could either choose to be bombarded by the unknowns and uncertainties… and be self-driven and dependent.
OR
I could trust in the God who called out to me, who waded and sat in my filth and shame with me. The God who clearly told me the next step for my life/His will.
You have a choice in how you want to pursue this life. God is not going to force you, twist your arm ‘til you say “uncle” or beg and plead with you. He simply presents the various opinions and its up to us to choose which one. Sure, we can pray for discernment, guidance and His will, but, we ultimately make the choice.
And, since I’ve been barely surviving on my own strength, I’m just going to give in to God’s plan (and, ultimate, goodness!)
Don’t be mislead-choosing God and His plan is not always “peachy”.
Sometimes, its hard… really hard.
And unconventional.
And, a little out of place.
And time consuming.
And scary.
….and that is ok!
But, despite the challenges and/or consequences that may lie ahead, it is totally worth it. So, I drove straight into getting my nursing degree! Started taking classes the first of June. Somehow, I thought I would be overwhelmed by the material, but, I absolutely love it! It is completely fascinating to me and I am so eager to learn more! (sponge). Glory to God, I am in the top of my class so far! I wish I would have done this sooner!!
I think my time in school has definitely refocused me and put me back on track. I feel the gifts that God gave me, starting to swell up and out in this field. I’m learning that I’m the type of person that needs a routine schedule. When I got back from the Worldrace, I was just everywhere with no set agenda and that probably aided into that depression. School is helping me become disciplined and that is spreading out into all areas of my life!
{{Including, my spiritual life! Stay tuned for more to come soon!}}
I feel like, for the first time since I “checked out” back in Summer 2012… I finally have purpose and drive for my life again… and that is exciting! What is more important-is that it is Kingdom oriented!
h-a-l-l-e-l-u-j-a-h!
He never fails. He never leaves us.
