During college one night, I remember studying and writing a research paper in our library. My friend had come along with me so we would hold each other accountable to the work at hand. I remember being so involved and in the “zone” that I forgot she was even there… until she came up behind me and asked if I wanted a drink… scared me to death. It was like, all the sudden, the silence was broken and I was discharged from the “zone.”
God does that sometimes too.
We can be so focused, so attentive to the task that we forget that we are not alone.
That was my experience one Sunday morning. I had intended on getting up and going to church but, I overslept. My husband was away at police academy, so it was just me. I knew that my spirit had been thirsty for worship, for community… for a church service. And, I actually felt conviction so… I decided to make my own church for that day instead of brushing it off completely.
I was making my bed that morning.. singing a few worship songs and praying. And, I was intently praying for others instead of just selfish, Santa Claus prayers… and in the middle of me focusing and in the zone, out of nowhere.. God speaks.
And, I’m not just saying… it was like a voice in my head.. it was a real, tangible, audible sound. A true voice. HIS voice.
And for me, that’s only happened a few times in my lifetime… that clear, “I’m physically sitting next to you,” talking voice.
“Amy… I know you have had suffering. Some, self-infected and some from disappointments and changed plans. But, I have not forgotten you. And, I wish you would have sought after me sooner…but…you were trying to figure out for yourself how to heal these wounds. But, I still do have plans for you.
Your time of sickness, sickness to the point of bodily death… your time of being scared. That was intentional…. and, intentional only for my glory. Not, intentional for your shame. I designed it that way so you would personally know what it feels like to be scared… and feel hopeless.
And… I want to use that to propel greater things. During your time of sickness and confusion.. you rested in me. You trusted me as your healer. And although I did not respond in your time frame…I did not leave you.
You see, I have children all over this world who are experiencing some sickness, some healing and some feeling hopeless and confused. And I need you to go to them… to be beside them. To care for them. You know how it feels for something to be wrong and nobody can tell you why or how to fit it. I have molded you into a relational being… and it is time you start using and exercising that again. I have created in you a tender heart, a heart of compassion.
You know how it feels to be sick. It’s time to start using that for Kingdom instead of pity.
I want you to become a nurse.”
….talk about whoa. I got snot and tears just pouring out of my face… and I wish I could tell you.. that I had something profound to say in return… but, I just laughed and said back to God, “wow… you really know how to interrupt me, don’t cha. I was praying for Justin and police and then you come in and completely change the subject on me… whoa.”
That is how God works sometimes.
We can be completely involved, focused on a task… even a task that is Holy and glorifying… and we can get so lost in that… that we forget that we are not alone.
God can come in and break the silence and discharge you from the “zone”.
….and sometimes, God will just lay out His plan for you..
right then and there.
In black and white…
posted on a billboard so you can’t miss it.
And in a way, that you know it came from God.
No doubts, no confusion.
{{man, I’ve been praying that for years! Yesssssss! ….finally!}}
Stay tuned for what happens next! 🙂
