Something happened this week and I
started thinking about what it was going to be like to leave this
place.
I don’t remember exactly what triggered
this train of thought. But I do know I was sitting with one of the
younger girls and it was almost too much to keep the tears from
running down my face.
everyday makes my heart feel like it’s breaking into tiny
pieces andsimultaneously being ripped out of my chest so it can be left behind
here in the Philippines.
It’s been 4 weeks and I am in love.
I’ve already started to learn the different personalities and quirks
of these crazy, beautiful, wonderful girls. They are sweet and kind
and funny and sassy and they sing and make hearts melt with their
heartfelt worship.
My heart has taken up residence in
their home. It stays there at night when I pray with them to put
them to sleep.
I don’t know what I’ll do when it’s
time to get on a plane and go.
How do you go home without your heart.
Coming here I wasn’t even sure I had
any more love to give. But my heart knew better and jumped right in
ahead of my better judgment.
Today I’m struggling with how to say
goodbye.
Or maybe it’s just that my mind has
realized what my heart has done and it’s trying to convince me that
this really can’t be done.
It’s trying to convince me not to go
any further and to pull back now so that it doesn’t hurt as bad
later.
While that might sound slightly logical
and maybe a tad more practical, I have no idea how to stop what I’ve
started.
I love these girls and wouldn’t trade a
minute of these next few months for anything. This Love has reached
the deep places of the heart and put down roots.
And it’s doing what Love does best.
It’s growing wild and crazy and filling. It’s overtaking the hurts,
the pain and the fear.
I believe this Love is enough to
overcome and restore and redeem and so I am saying yes to each moment
I have.
and none of this has changed. I’m still loving every moment and
having trouble imagining a life that doesn’t include life in the
Philippines. I would be so thankful if you would pray with me about
what comes next.
my team and for the ones we have grown to love that we are leaving
behind.
powerful and used to bring hope and life and joy for the future.
just maybe, I’m not finished with this place where my heart lives.
