When I first got accepted to start this life changing adventure, I was BEYOND excited! I could not contain myself. You would have thought I would have won the lottery by the way I was acting. I was telling anyone and everyone.
The excitement of traveling the world sounded intriguing. The fact that I was going to see different cultures fascinated me. I was gonna be able to possibly ride a camel or elephant or who knows what. That is freaking awesome! The part that really drew me into wanting to do the World Race was to share the Gospel to the orphans, lost, broken and unloved overseas. My heart raced when I would think about what I would be doing next year.
Then, the excitement wore off a little…
My teammates seem to be doing great. They seem to always be excited and ready to leave at the drop of a hat. Is it wrong of me to not be ready to go tomorrow? Is it okay that I am feeling tons of emotions 24/7? How do they seem like they are doing so well and I am struggling over here?
I am not saying I am not exited, believe me I cannot wait to go. Along with the excitement, there are other emotions that are constantly running around in my mind.
I am scared. I am scared to leave my family and friends back while I take this on this adventure without them. What if something happens when I am away that I cannot come back quickly?
I am sad. I have this thing called FOMO (fear of missing out) and I will be having this for eleven months straight. I am sad that I could miss my siblings or friends fall in love. I will be missing a lot in my their lives for eleven months. That is not a lighthearted thing to constantly be thinking about that can lead to loneliness.
Although I may feel all of these crazy emotions, I am also THRILLED to have this opportunity! I am pumped to meet my K Squad peeps. I cannot wait to see the Lord work in ways I never thought possible! It going to be a life changing experience that I cannot wait for, but there are some emotions that come with leaving for eleven months.
Why do I want to go then?
I want to go to see the Lord work in miraculous ways.
I want to go to see me and my squad mates grow with our love of the Lord.
I want to go to see the orphans, widows, prostitutes that may not get a chance to hear good news except for us.
I want to go because I believe the Lord has a plan for me, and right now it is going overseas.
I want to go because I heard the call from the Lord and I am trying to be obedient.
Yes, I may be scared or lonely or unhappy or angry, but I am delighted to know that I have a God that has a plan for my life that is better then I would have ever thought. I cannot wait to see what the Lord does in each and every persons life while I am overseas. I feel a mix of emotions all the time, but I would not change it!
“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” -2 Timothy 1:7
