When I imagined the World Race, I thought it was traveling around the world for a year with adventure out of every corner. I never thought I would actually say yes but only a dream.
Here were my expectations of the race:
1. I expected to live every moment in so much joy (no sadness or anger or shame or any other emotions)
2. I thought I would l have this new type of communication with the Lord that no one else will ever have and I would be the one to discover it.
3. I expected to want to stay overseas after the Race.
4. I thought that I would have gotten closer to figuring out what the heck I want to do when I get
back.
5. I expected to get along with everyone and everyone get along with me.
6. I thought I would have found my future husband.
That was the type of Race that I wanted and the type of life I wanted to live for a year.
I am sorry to tell you but, that is not the reality.
There are plenty of joyful moments, but you have to work to see those moments most of the time.
Yes, I am getting closer to the Lord and learning intimacy with Him, but I am impatient and have yet to discover a new type of communication with the Lord.
I am not counting down the days till I go back to the states, but I have realized I don’t feel called to be overseas (at least not now)
Community is hard and you have to choose to say yes to everyone each day and may times I fail at doing that.
Yes fellas, I am still available.
So, even though the Race is not what I expected, it is better. Yes, better. We are a little more than half way through the race and this is what I learned:
1. Sometimes you have to look for the good in each day and the more you do, the more you see and become a whole hearted joyful person. I have lately been writing down all of the little things that happened that has made me joyful. The more and more I do that, the more I realize how much goodness is in the day, but sometimes it is hard to see.
2. I have learned more in the past 6 months than I have in 2 years back home. I have learned to love the Lord and see how He deeply loves me. I have learned how to find my own personal way to hear and speak with the Lord. I am still learning about how to fully rest and what the means for me specifically, but I am getting closer each day.
3. I am realizing, like truly realizing, that ministry is everywhere. It is in the coffee shop you go every single day to get your coffee before work. It is in the grocery store or restaurant or wherever. I don’t have to live overseas to feel like I can do something. I can impact anyone anywhere I place my foot.
4. Gosh, I honestly did not realize how much work it is to be in community with people 24/7. I love people, I honestly do. But when you are around the same people all day, everyday for months on end, it become very difficult. I have to constantly say yes to my team members various times of the day. I think that I am learning how to be friends with people through the good and the bad times. I am learning that I have to say yes even when I know people are saying no. Community is hard people, but COMPLETELY worth it (trust me I know)!!!
5. Yes, I honestly thought I would find my hubby, but still no ring on the finger. I am learning that I don’t need a guy to make me feel prettier about myself or make me better about myself. I am learning how to be pursued by the Lord and let Him be my husband right now.
Yes, sometimes I wish I would have said no to the Race because it is down right hard, but I know I would not be where I am if I didn’t. I am finally figuring out Amy for Amy and not be influenced by the people around me. If I said no to the Race, I would have never realized the many things that the Lord has shown me over these past 6 months.
If I said no to the race, I wouldn’t have known how to love others with an open and unconditional heart even when it is hard. I also would have never met the people in the villages and met people who have impacted my life forever. If I said no to the race, then I wouldn’t have been able to experience the rollercoaster of life with the Lord like I am! There are obviously countless lessons the Lord is teaching me each and everyday, but I figured that would bore you if I shared them all (we will just have to have a coffee date when I get back to talk all about it)!
I am beyond glad that I have said yes to the Race and as hard as it is, I would not change it for anything!
Thank you for constantly praying for me, the race and my team!
We are heading to Thailand in less than a week so if you can keep everyone in your prayers, that would be greatly appreciated!!!
