Sweet and sour
I don't know if any of you have seen the commercial for the “sour patch” candy but I think it’s a hilarious commercial and I feel it totally relates to where I am at this point in life. Let me explain how!
God is the sweet part of the candy and I, in my human nature am the sour part…. The part that causes hurt and God is the comforter after these actions… As many times that I have tried to take credit for this sweetness God quickly humbles me and shows me how sour I am without him!
Here comes the sourness I hope your taste buds are prepared for this bitter taste!
Today I had to confess a lie to one of my best friends. I had to tell her the very harsh and selfish truth… The truth was that during training camp I was asked “who I did NOT want to be on my team”. As I proceed to answer the question sure enough I whispered it. Immediately, I should have known that what I’d just uttered should have been kept quiet and layed before God.
Side note: “I am a firm believer that everything said in SECRET or in FEAR of someone else hearing should not be said out loud, but yet said alone to God”
After the brief questioning I begin to desperately hope that this particular individual would never find out what I had just expressed about her. Soon after, I was now stuck with the horrible thought of what I’d just said and I could not take it back! This lingering contemplation of why I did not want her to be on my team dwelled with me many days after camp until I was confronted with a question by her “Amie, did you choose me to be on your team”?
Embarrassed and filled with fear I lied and quickly changed the subject. Later on, I told my mother about the lie and she quickly called me to confess. Confessing was something I knew I had to do but I did not want to do it. By the grace of God, I soon realized that if I didn’t confess I would allow the enemy to have a foothold on our relationship that could KILL, STEAL, and DESTROY something God had made to bring Him Glory. Still overflowing with fear I proceeded to tell her the ugly truth and immediately tears started to flow from her eyes. Without hesitation my heart began to sink to the pit of my stomach and frantic wishes to take back every word I had said started to race across my mind. Confronted with this stark reality that I’d just hurt my beloved friend; I greatly wished I could take back the pain.
What I learned most from this experience is, unfortunately the things I do and say affects not only me but others as well; those whom I earnestly love and perhaps those that I don’t even know yet. Unfortunately I wasn't just hurting myself but my actions caused someone dear to me heartache, confusion, and tears. As I reflect about it, I wonder how I could do such a thing and how I could say something so hurtful. I mean really, what was my reasoning for not choosing her? The answer is because this gal challenges me point blank! The qualities and strengths she has are where I am weak and they show me various parts of my heart that have not been renewed by God yet; areas in me that are still dark. SOOOO, not wanting to be exposed I quickly revert back to my protection zone where I guard myself.
The truth is I wish could take back what I said. Now more than ever I truly desire to travel the world with this amazing girl. She has shown me nothing but love and grace in the same way our heavenly father has. Being under her influence and having her in my life has helped bring me to a place of desiring to expose the darkest areas of my life. I long to be renewed and to let the darkest areas in my heart be uncovered so that they can glorify God in His fullest. Unfortunately, I do not have the option to choose her as a teammate, but the option I do have is to go forward not letting this sin hold me back but to learn from it, grow from it, and be changed by it. I thank God for being a redeemer, one who brings light and glory out of my short comings and faults. He is restoring our friendship and continues strengthening it. I am praying for continual renewal in my life! I am Thankful that this sour patch candy does not finish sour, but ends with a delightful sweet taste, leaving me desirig more of Gods sugary goodness!
Here is one of the sour patch kids commercials, I hope this can bring you a smile after chewing on something a bit sour, love you all !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV_u9EDE2Z8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
