Change. Some people like it. Some people don’t. For some people it’s exciting and fun while it causes anxiety, sadness, and stress for others. I’m someone who doesn’t like change but wants it at the same time. I don’t want my life to be exactly like it is for the rest of my life. But the closer it comes to finishing my job, the more it hits me that I’m going to miss it. I don’t want to work in a childcare center for the rest of my life, and I certainly don’t enjoy every aspect of my job. But it’s hard hearing the other teachers starting to plan for the coming year. It’s hard that I might not ever see some of these children again.
Why is change hard? We often get comfortable where we are and are scared to venture outside of that comfort zone. My fundraising t-shirt says “Good-bye Comfort Zone.” There that theme is again! Part of the reason I applied for The World Race was because I was too comfortable. I didn’t feel like I was growing closer to God. It wasn’t hard to apply, and I kept praying that God would provide if He wanted me to go and stop me if He didn’t want me to go. Know what God is saying is an area I need to work on, so sometimes I tell God to knock me upside the head with a 2×4 if He needs to.
Change can also make my mental health issues worse. My anxiety can go up. My OCD can get worse. And my mood can take a downward turn. This happened after I was accepted to the race. I had to decide whether to give up or push through it. Obviously I decided to push through it since I’m here now. My squadmates have been talking some about spiritual warfare and how the devil attacks them. I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about my OCD and anxiety increases as a spiritual attack, but it would make sense if they were.
As this trip gets closer, some of my mental issues have been getting worse again. I feel down some of the time and don’t feel like doing anything. I can feel it in my body sometimes too. The devil does not want me to serve the Lord. The devil will fight and attack me. It will be hard. But I also know God is on my side! He has already defeated the devil. He has control of angel armies. God will fight for me! God’s Spirit is in me. God has me covered.
So do I always like change? No. Do I want change? Yes! I want God to change me and make me more like His Son!
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)
Thank you for all of your support! I have almost $10,000 toward my trip, but I still need over $7,000. When I talked to someone about fundraising the other day, she mentioned how some people have the opportunity to go but don’t have the money and others want to go but can’t because of family or other reasons. I would love for you to partner with me! You can be a part of this amazing journey of spreading God’s Word and His love! I can’t do this on my own, but I know God has it in His hands. I’m specifically looking for some monthly supporters. One-time donations are greatly appreciated as well! I would greatly appreciate if you would pray and ask God if He wants you to partner with me. If you feel like God is calling you to give, you can use the orange donate button toward the top of the page. Thank you for both your monetary support and your prayers! God bless!
