Jesus loves people.
He cares for them.
Deeply
He leads them.
Humbly
He shepherds His flock.
Faithfully
He intercedes for us.
Regularly
Christians are called to be Christ to this fallen world.
So why is judgement one of the main reasons people in America avoid Christians?
The idea of my own ‘closet judgementalness’ has been illuminated over the last few weeks. I use that term because I don’t think anyone would peg me for the judgmental type, but it’s a part of my heart that the Lord’s restoring in me right now.
For the last few months I have been on ATL teams which means relative freedom. We can go where we want, live where we want, do whatever the Lord tells us to do.
There have been many circumstances where we’ve been consistently around people outside of this ‘Christian bubble’ we’ve been living in. Yes, over the year we’ve evangelized and lived among non-christians… But it’s been different.
In past months we’ve had our V-squad bubble, and within ministry, when we have a host, we are surrounded by and partnering with other believers.
In recent months, we’ve lived in hostels pretty regularly (one of which is marketed as “the biggest party hostel in Canggu”). And honestly it’s brought up some pretty tough questions for me… Especially coming home.
In college, I resisted community. Like total stiff-arm. Nope. Not for me. It’s exclusive. I was still a part of churches but close community was a no go. I had lots of friends who weren’t Christians and I used them as a reason why I couldn’t support the idea of intentional Christian community.
After all, if I left my friends, how could I witness to them?
I wanted so badly to be a good influence.
But I got sucked in and I was the one being influenced.
My intention was to live life with my non-Christian friends and show them that Christians could be different. That I wasn’t judgmental. I’d go to parties or do whatever they did and I’d just do a little less.
I mean Jesus hung out with the tax collectors and prostitutes, right? Meet people where they’re at, right?
Except I wasn’t being a light. I wasn’t any different. I was doing what I wanted to do and most of my life wasn’t glorifying to the Lord.
and I justified it.
I only went out for special occasions… Until I felt left out other nights.
I only went out on weekends… Until I was invited to something else.
I only drank enough to get tipsy… Until the games started and then who cares?
I only hung out with people I knew and trusted until that didn’t matter anymore either.
The Lord really protected me from a lot during this time and there’s a lot of things that could’ve happened that didn’t. PTL!
The point is, in my mind to some degree, my peers in college were my ministry. And it worked for a while but eventually I gave in. And I failed.
So… Fast-forward the hostels now. Back in the day that would’ve been my sweet spot. I remember being the sober one in the dorms hanging out with whoever was home or chatting with our drunk floor-mates whenever they came back. I had so much fun hanging out and having really good conversations with people even in that state. So in these hostels, it should be fun to sit around and talk to the other people living there whether they were drunk, high, whatever.
But it wasn’t.
I’ve become so used to this bubble where everyone is really similar to me, that my first reaction in these hostels was judgement.
How?
I. Am. Just. Like. Them.
I have no room to judge, I am just as broken, messed up, you name it as the next guy.
Let me tell you, it was such a heart check!!
Jesus is the only person who’s lived a righteous life.
Jesus is the only person who has the right to judge.
And He chooses to lead with love and compassion!
So where do I go from here? Going home, I’m not in college anymore but to some degree bars/clubs are still appealing. I feel a strong pull to pursue people on future vacations or through traveling in the future. What is that going to look like? How do you do it without getting pulled in? How do you meet the lost where they are but not get lost yourself?
I don’t know.
I’m not sure what this will look like coming home. I don’t know what all my thoughts are yet. I know my heart is not judgement and I will continue to rebuke any of those thoughts that come my way. My heart is love, compassion, kindness, patience.
My goal is to look more and more like Christ and He “did not come to condemn the world but to save it.”
Let me be clear. The Bible does talk about judgement and it’s a very real thing. But that’s not anyone’s place but the Lords. Certainly, not mine! There’s no space for it in my life or in how I interact with others. None.
