I sat still, a sad numbness slowly crept up, filling my body. My heart hurt to the point of tears welling up in my already misty eyes. “What am I doing?” I silently asked myself. “I don’t want to leave Jesus, I can’t leave my home, family, and friends.” Terrified I sat like a statue with gut wrenching thoughts tumbling around in my mind. My head fogged and I wept silently.
So, as I’ve been told, it is very normal to hit the phase of “what the heck am I doing?” Honestly, I didn’t think I would hit this phase because I know this is what God is calling me to do. I didn’t think I’d be scared of the unknown because I know God is before me. Yet, here I am, terrified. I am scared to leave everyone behind and go to countries I’ve never been to, with people I barely know. I’m scared to be far away and my parents not being able to reach out to hold me. I’m scared that friends will go off to college and different states and forget about me. I’m fearful of the unknown and the future. I’m scared I won’t be prepared enough for training camp. I’m scared I will forget a necessary item. I’m scared that nobody will understand what I’ve been through once I get back.
As my fears and doubts swept over me. I began to realize there are many scriptures to trump each of my fears. I started to dig and search for scriptures. Here’s what I found-
Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Joshua 1:9 – “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”a]”>
Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Phillipians 1:6 – “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
James 1:3-8 – “because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt,because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”
Romans 5:1-5 – “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
Hebrews 13:1 – “Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.”
Isaiah 43:1-5a – “But now, this is what the Lord says he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you;”
Psalm 36:5 – “Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.”
And there were many many other encouraging verses that I found.
From these verses, I am assured that this is God’s plan for my life right now. I know He will be with me through the mountains and valleys literally and figuratively. I know that He already knows what’s going to happen. I know He will comfort me in my times of sadness. I know He will be there for me when I am lonely. I know He will walk with me every step of the way. I know He has prepared me for what is to come. I have faith He will help me with all I need. I have faith that He will help me overcome my fear. No, none of this will be easy, but God never said it would be. No, leaving my comfort zone, family, friends, and home will not be easy but God never said it would be. I need only follow His plan and purpose for my life and everything will be alright. I am terrified but God is holding me in the palm of His hand and that’s the safest place I’ll ever be.
God has already provided so much for me and thanks to you I only have $3,675 to go. God is GOOD! I still am selling t-shirts for those of you who would like one. Just message me or comment of this blog and I get you what you need.
Fun fact about…
Cambodia: There are no McDonald’s in the country and their flag is the only flag with a building on it.
Ethiopia: Coffee was discovered in this country, in Kaffa region. A shepherd discovered this famous beverage when his goats ate the leaves and became restless.
Costa Rica: There are more than 121 volcanic formations in Costa Rica, and seven of them are active.
Nicaragua:Out of a total of 88 constellations found in the night sky, 86 of them can be seen clearly in Nicaragua.
