The B Zone. The B Zone is what we call the low points people tend to hit on the race. Just like every roller-coaster has it’s ups and downs. The low points can be missing home, missing comforts, missing family, missing friends, or just pure sadness aka the pit of despair. Some people throughout the course of the race hit a deep enough B Zone and chose to go home. Others push through.
“My heart is weighed down. My head hurts. My stomach is tied in a knot. It’s hard to breathe. My brain is tumbling and mushing my thoughts. My emotions are exploding. My body wants to do absolutely nothing, yet at the same time it wants to run home. Run to the comforts of home and family and friends. My heart and my focus are yearning to go home. Home to the sweet embrace of my friends and family. Home, to the place where I am loved and accepted and seen. Yet, in my heart I know I am home. I know if I keep Jesus at the forefront I will always be at home in him. Its so hard. Homesickness is soooo real. I miss my people. The people who want to be with me, the people who chose me. The comforts of good home cooked meals that are clean, the comfort of a warm shower in which I actually get clean. I miss it all.” – Amber’s Journal Entry 01-21-19
Jesus is my comfort. Jesus is my peace and calm. Jesus gives me new breath in my lungs. He is my focus. He gives me guidance and direction. Jesus is my home. So yes, I have a choice, I can give up and go home to Colorado right now. But is that what I want? No. I want to push through. I want to say yes to the hard things. I want to keep choosing Jesus above everyone and everything else. I want to keep trusting Him in my past, present, and future. I want my faith to be stronger then my sight.
I have a team who loves me and chooses me. I have a group of people who want to be with me. I have a family right where I am. God’s family.
So yes, it is hard but the choice, to me anyways, is evident. I stay, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how much I get home sickness. No matter what, I push through. I trust the Lord to carry me, through thick and thin. He knows all, sees all, and endures all. So even in my biggest B Zone/Pit of Despair the Lord will always give me a way out. Choosing joy, love, and all the other fruits of the spirit daily even when I don’t feel like it.
Some days are harder then others. Most days are absolutely amazing and God reveals more and more things to me. So slowly but surly, I am crawling out of this B Zone. It’s not pretty, it’s not easy, but it’s the right choice for me. God has called me here and so here I shall stay. To be honest I don’t and deep down didn’t want to go home right now anyway. There are B Zones all throughout life and our job is to make the choice, even if it means making the hard choice. Push through and God will show you some pretty great views, you can’t see valleys and everything under you until you get to the peak.
